Goodbye 12

Each year for the last few years, I have found myself counting down the days and hours until the year ends. Hoping. Hoping at the next year will bring something different. Something new. A change. One for the better. This year is no different. Except for the fact that I no longer have those hopes. I refuse to count down the the minutes until the ball drops and hope for a better year. Usually it's just mere weeks into the year when the same old shit rears it's ugly head. I've noticed that we have to make the changes we want. We have to fight hard, against everything we believe and know to be true sometimes to make ourselves be different. Often times we hurt ourselves beyond repair and generally we knew it would happen but we still do the same stupid things again expecting different results. Someone once said that was a sign of insanity. So, 2013 is lurking around the corner. What can I say? I'm going to quit smoking? Already did that. I'm going to lose weight and go to the gym? Already doing that? I'm going to get my Masters? Already doing that? I even got a boob job in 2012. What else is there? Relationships are a joke. Love is no longer anything I once believed it was. I know. I will stay at home, become a recluse, pay off all of my bills and be the mean old lady with 10 cats that lives at the end of the street. What do you think?

Dear You

Yeah you. You know who you are. I still smile when I think of you. Somehow, after all this time. You still make my heart skip a beat. If I think about you too hard, I still lose my breath. It's hard to believe that what we had was so long ago, yet, somedays it feels like yesterday. Thank you for always being there for me. Oh how I wish things were different for us. Another time. Another place. Another life. Little Bunny