I'm Not Touching You. I'm Not Touching You.

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land".
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, social security, retirement funds, etc. So, I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.