Dear July. I hate you.

I mean really?

My husband and I drove to Jacksonville, Illinois on Sunday morning, to make it in time for a funeral on Monday morning.

One of my husband's closest friends was killed in action in Afghanistan on July 17th. Matt served with E for 4 years in the Corps, where they were roommates and deployed to Fallujah twice. Matt deployed a third time to Ramadi and E moved to another unit.

Matt's desire to do Special Ops lead him to get out and join the Army. Airborne. Rangers.

This was Matt's 5th deployment if you combine them all. He was due to come home on the 29th of this month.

What a heartbreaking experience this has been.

Can this month please get over?

RIP Matthew Weikert

When It's Finally Real

Over the years you hear about someone being KIA. Then you just want to believe it's not true. I've dealt with more than my fair share of losses thanks to Iraq and Afghanistan.

But when you see the DoD Release, then you know that's when it's finally real.

DOD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

Staff Sgt. Justus S. Bartelt, 27, of Polo, Ill., died July 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Rest in Peace:

1stLt Frederick Pokorney KIA 23 Mar 2003
Sgt Edgar Lopez KIA 28 Aug 2004
Captain John Maloney KIA 16 June 2005
SSgt Jason Ramseyer KIA 20 Apr 2006
LCpl Eric Herzberg KIA 26 Oct 2006
Sgt Jerome "Jerry" Bell KIA 19 Sept 2008
SSgt Justus Bartelt KIA 16 July 2010

Rest in Peace Marines. I will see you at the gates of heaven.

TAPS

Staff Sergeant Justus Bartelt.

KIA. Afghanistan. July 2010.

Semper Fidelis.

You were truly one of a kind.

A Ten. I give it a Ten.

My ability to fall down stairs is astounding.

Monday morning, I fell down the last four stairs of the eight stairs in front of my house.

Seems I have torn some ligaments, tendons and muscles. No breaks. I mean that would be easy.

Here are a few pictures of my injuries:

In the ER:

In the ER:

Day Two:

I also scraped up my left knee and my left foot. My right arm escaped injury free until they gave me a tetanus shot in it.

Can I get a round of applause please?

I'm Not Touching You. I'm Not Touching You.

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land".
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, social security, retirement funds, etc. So, I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Style and Grace

How does one fall down a set of brick stairs and scrape their leg, hand and knee but doesn't tear their stockings?

Not so gracefully, that's how.

Excuse Me, Miss

So I'm walking all fast like out of a building. The Main building for the De-part-ment that I work for, when I hear, "excuse me, Miss?" I stopped and turned to see this security guard. He smirked. I did the squinty eye thing of "wait....I know you from somewhere thought." YEP. Sure as shit (never really understood that phrase), there stood RH.

RH is a guy that was standing outside of a local bar (down where I live), one night quite late. My girlfriends and I had been drinking a bit and somehow I was standing there talking to RH. And discovered that he worked as a Security Guard where I work. REALLY? Seriously? Small world huh? Of all the building and places to work he works for the same place? My building is HUGE. I mean HUGE (that's what she said). The chances of him seeing me walk out of his exit (there are a ton of exits) on a day that he works are pretty random. About as random as him being outside of a bar that I am at

Yeah, and so today was the first time I've seen him since that night. Nothing romantical about it, since I am a married women after all. It's just a small little world out there. DC is a big ass city. Where I live is about 40 miles away. There are a lot, I mean AAAAAAA LOOOOOTTTTTTTTT of places to work in between here and there.

I must learn to hide better.

Dear Monday

Monday, Monday. I haven't seen a really bad one of you in a long time. I thought that our life long rivalry had finally come to some sort of truce. Oh how wrong I was. I guess you were just waiting until my guard was down so that you could attack. Or were you waiting until the husband and I had a great Sunday and I woke up all happy and rainbowy and stuff? Either way. YOU SUCK. AGAIN. STILL. EFF You.

You couldn't even wait until the morning light to jack up my Monday. At 12:15am I received a text from an old friend in regards to another old friend. Really? ICU? Critical? Septic Shock? Come on. EFF Hospitals.

Then, my alarm was set for 5:42pm not am. NICE. Only woke up ONE hour late. No biggie. Then of course, the slug line was LONG and I missed the window to find a parking spot in the lot I needed to be in. EFF alarms.

Oh and who picks me up for a ride but my friend CC. I should have just gotten a ride with someone else because the fact that he has to text his girlfriend (who hates me) when I get in the car and when he drops me off, makes me want to hurl in his new Infinity. EFF jealous people.

And then, I realized I forgot my badge. Not only did I forget my badge, but I forgot my Smartrip Card. Damn it outloud. EFF forgetting things.

Last but not least, my HR department has been waiting for me to bring in a copy of something for over a week. Guess what I forgot this morning? You guessed it. The paper. EFF forgetting things. Squared.

Dear Monday. I hate you.

Effword Friday

The silence of my anger is deafening.

I can feel it ripping through my heart like an armor piercing bullet.

Tears puddle into the bottom of my eyes.

Ever so close to spilling over the edge.

I try to collect my thoughts and nothing but confusion seems to come.

It hurts to breath.

I'm suffocating in "I just don't understand".

I'm grasping at something to hold on to.

The more I grab, the more everything slips through my fingers.

Disconnected

Disconnected

My lungs burn with anticipation of feeling.

My nerves pinch as I try to use words to soothe my defeat.

My insecurities play war against my creativity.

Thoughts rush forth but the words will not spring from my tongue.

I am void of any communication that makes me feel alive.

I have learned to smile and hide the pain.

Not The Mama

I hate one uppers. I hate people who think that just because I am not a Mother that they can always try to one up my bad day or my late for work or my so busy statement.

I know, because you are a Mother, you can just trade with me because your life is worse than mine or better than mine depending on the day you want to try to be better or worse than me so that you can get attention or have someone pay attention to you. <----run on sentence.

And my smart ass answer will be "oh I know, maybe I will allow my vagina to produce an excuse for everything." Let me get right on that since I'm not busy enough with working and having a life.

Dum Dums - Suckers - But Not The Lollipops

In recent months, with all of my single girlfriends, I’ve come to notice that men around these parts want to date stupid women. Or women that they can control or “be the tough guy” with. They don’t want to date a woman who is secure and stable and knows who she is and what she wants because they fear that they cannot live up to the expectations. Even though those expectations are set somewhere in their minds and not in the woman’s mind.

Men still fear being equal to a woman. They think that the same as being inferior or less than. And until they get over that, they will forever date women who will feed them and fuck them while they finance it all. What a waste of time and effort.

Back to WTFF?

I just don't understand why people can't do their jobs. I mean seriously, I've seen girls on the corner in Miami working harder to suck a dick for $20.00 than most people work at returning a phone call or an e-mail or "gasp" doing their job.

Hey hooker behind the desk over there at "that place". Stop being a See You Next Tuesday. I mean really. I don't give a damn if you are OLD and set in your ways. Times, they have changed. DO it electronically. That's the way it is done.

Oh and don't tell me to call my SA's to get an answer when it's YOUR SA's that I will be calling. Don't try to play me for a rookie. I know better.

WTF is going on with the workforce today? People are starving and killing themselves. Get your lazy ass out of that chair and go home and starve so that someone can come in and work.

That is it. Bless your hearts and have a nice day.

Dear Hateful Wild Animal From Last Night

Look here Raccoon, I know that we have a dog door and that it's big enough to fit most animals through, but you are not welcome in my basement. Especially at 2:30am. You ate dog food and then terrorized the dogs who terrorized you back and then my husband who tried to make you go away. You are lucky that I talked him out of putting a shotgun hole in the side of the house.

Your days are numbered. Just like those pesky squirrels in the backyard that keep chewing holes in my birdfeeders. My fancy BB gun was ordered before you even made an appearance and you be sorry that you scampered your way into our house.

TOO Much Tuesday

Let me just say that my Labor Day weekend was very Labor intensive.

I took Thursday and Friday off to move/unpack/clean/be miserable. 5 days later and I am done moving. WOOOOO!

I am NOT done cleaning or unpacking and I damn sure am still miserable.

I am exhausted 10 different ways from Sunday. Blah.

Currently, I am typing with one hand as I hold my cell phone and work phone to my ear (both on hold). WTF?

We had a meeting this morning. The F word was used more than 20 times. Voices were raised. Stomachs turned. Hearts skipped beats. It was awful.

I've had too much. I'm stressed to my max capacity.

Dear Verizon. You can kiss my white ass. Your entire company has lost their minds. FYI: I have been on hold/on the line for 30 minutes and counting. The next CS person that answers the phone is going to hate their Tuesday. I've had too much.

After piano practice this evening.

I am going to go home and have too much.

Cherry Vodka and Red Bull, please and thank you.

Monday In Pictures

WTFF

1) Dear Niece. You will never learn. You think it's a joke that you got kicked out of not only public school, but alternative school and then a school for girls. Your little ass if going to a program 5 hours away from home. Bet you won't be so gangster and hard then. WTF are you thinking?

2) Dear Guy in the convertible corvette with his son in the front seat. Yeah, that was me that reported you as an aggressive driver. Bet you will think twice about trying to run someone off the road and then trying to intimidate them by yelling at them and threatening them in STOPPED traffic. WTF were you thinking? Dumb ass.

3) Dear Wells Fargo. Just like last week. You can kiss my ass. WTF is your problem?

4) Dear husband. It would be nice to see you sometime. WTF?

5) Dear body. You and I are about to fight and I guarantee I will win. WTF are you thinking making me look like this?

6) Dear friend. I don't want to get up at 8am tomorrow to get to Hooters by 11am for the pre Kenny Chesney concert party. It's bad enough that the gates for the concert don't open until 6:30 but you want to be out all day? WTF are you thinking?

7) Dear Talon and Tayzon's mother. WTF were you thinking when you named your children?

8) Dear self. Ummmm...your move out date is in 9 days. WTF are you doing? Finish that packing. Please also refer to #4.

Monday In Pictures aka Mute Monday

WTFF

1) Mexican food for lunch = bad idea. WTF was I thinking?

2) Why do I have 50 bottles of unopened wine in my house? WTF? I am a disgrace to alcoholics , ahem, I mean wine lovers everywhere.

3) How in the H E double hockey sticks (hell for those of you that aren't as cool as me) did I accumluate so much shit wonderful things in my apartment? WTF?

4) If I go out with the girls tonight and THE Husband goes fishing and then he has plans to go see a Pre Season football game tomorrow, doesn't that mean I get another girls night out tomorrow? WTF would I even question that for? H E double hockey sticks (plural) Yeah. HELLS YEAH that is.

5) WHY can't Wells Fargo get off of their asses and fix their mess up so I can buy the house from them? WTF is wrong with that place?

6) WTF is up with people traveling so much today? Traffic has been backed up for miles since 8am.

7) WTF? Have you seen my stapler?

8) WTF? Why am I not off work yet and sitting somewhere macking on a tasty beverage?


Bueller?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Happy Bday G-Ma

SHE SO DOES!!!

Not that my Grandma reads this, and not because she is practically blind and wouldn't know how to operate a computer if I did it for her, but hey, shot out to G-ma.

Happy Birthday! 89 years. WOW! What a wonderful life! August 18, 1920. My how the world has changed.

What an inspiration you still are. Growing up on a farm as an only child. You were able to go to college and graduate with a nursing degree (GO SYRACUSE ORANGE). In 1941 you became a mother for the first time (God Rest your soul Aunt Peggy) and a nurse.

You found the courage to leave an alcoholic abusive husband and move with your three children over 1,800 miles away. How things would have changed if you had not done that. Such as, I probably wouldn't be writing this message. So thanks for that.

For 40 years you worked at a nursing home, making it your career and eventually retiring as the Director and one of the most respected women in healthcare in your day.

May the funny old men in the assisted living home not astound you too much with their sex stories and may you know that your family loves you and misses you more than they often show.

Happy Birthday To the Best Grandma in the World.

Your first Granddaughter!!!! (The Best One of Course) --- **there are only two of us***