Mute Mondays

Things I Want In My House

I have a dream house in mind but my wallet cannot afford it. So, I decided to scale back a little bit. Okay A LOT. Some of these things I will have to work for but I really want this stuff. *sigh*

In a house, one of the most important things is the closet of course. This is a mans closet but I can womanize it. Check this out.



On those days that it's just too hot to do anything else but swim, I would love to walk out to this:



After I take a nice long swim, I can go relax in the bath in something a little like this:



If I want to hang out and play a little pool or have a drink, I can always go here:



If I get hungry while playing pool, I can head upstairs and cook myself something in here:




Finally, after a rough day or swimmming and playing pool and relaxing, I can retire to something like this:



Everything is give or take on the colors of course.

A girl can semi-dream can't she?

In Case You Have Forgotten

Let me remind you. I am NOT a nice person. This is not high school, this is real life. And you my dear are not all that special. The fact that you have title behind your name does not give you permission to act like you are sitting at the cool kids table at lunch and talking about people. You are two faced and you run your mouth. You need to shut it.

Keep in mind that I am mean, hateful, vindictive, spiteful and very career driven. I will knock you down if you are in my way. Especially when you are a childish, pathetic excuse for a person, let alone a manager.

I give one chance to everyone. You ruined yours. You won't get another.

Mute Mondays

From this post on, Mondays will be Mute Mondays. I will describe my life/feelings etc with pictures. Mainly because I don't have much to "say" on Mondays so I want to be lazy (which I NEVER get to be). Maybe something with happen that inspires me. Or not.

Here we go:

Don't Even

Both of you. Don't even try to think that because you are inept that you can try to make it my fault. I don't think so. Neither of you have experience in finance. And as a matter of fact YOU sent the e-mail. It's not my fault you cced the CFO of some other company. I didn't know who he was. I replied all, LIKE I ALWAYS DO when you asshats send random e-mails you have no business sending.

Really you two. You have been pushing the envelope for a few days now. I am running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep today. I didn't even get out of my driveway before I was cursing at someone.

Don't EVEN think about continuing with your stupidity.

Hey Monday

That's all.

Don't Lean On Me

***Disclaimer: The names of people and schools have been changed.***

So my Mom will lose her job next year and so will everyone that she works with.

Let me tell you something, the school she teaches at is BAD BAD BAD. The kids are BAD. Picture Lean on Me but ten (10) times worse and in middle school. Those kids are horrendous. The parents are worse and the community is worse than the two combined. TRUST ME. I grew up there. I know.

Anyway. This school has been bad for a long time. It has been progressing, slowly but surely. They BARELY failed the testing last year but not for the lack of killing themselves just to get that far. My Mom has only been there for three (3) years. And she is an ESE teacher. Each year getting a little closer to finally passing that test.

The Superintendent of Schools thinks he is Joe Clark. Joe clark HE IS NOT. So I will refer to him as Mr. Wanna Be Joe Clark. WBJC if you will.

For a school that must have TWO armed police officers on staff and six (6) others on call, with locked gates and various other things. Not to mention, it has more fights and threats than any other middle school, let him get a new staff. Trust me. It's not the staff. My Mom has been punched, knocked down, slammed against walls, spit on, bit and called every name in the book. Her purse has been stolen, her cell phone has been stolen more times than I care to think about and various other random crap. Not just by ESE kids either.

Those that know about ESE kids, they need consistency. Change will freak them out.

Here's are some excerpts from the newspaper article that my Mom sent me.

A Giant EFF YOU, TO Mr. Wanna Be Joe Clark (WBJC).

A new day has dawned for WMS
MAY 3, 2009

On Wednesday, WBJC announced wholesale staff changes for the middle school next year.

And the man means wholesale.

WBJC already has advertised for a new principal and announced the school will have new administrators, new teachers, new counselors and new coaches. Nearly all of the 80 staff positions will be filled with new people next school year. ***WTFever***

The action is a result of the 850-student school being one of 11 in Florida that failed to meet state and federal standards for student learning. As a result, the new school administration will report directly to WBJC.

As for the fate of WM, WBJC has proclaimed that it will become a "district turnaround school.'' ***Translated as: Alternative School. Now we can have bad kids and NOT be considered a 'real' school.***

It is good that WBJC sees opportunity where others might see despair. We believe WM can become a school that redefines how our children, those who might not come from the best economic backgrounds, are educated.

While we realize there are many (too many, some might say) rules and regulations from **our states capital** on how students are taught, we hope and trust that WM will become a center for innovative teaching. How can WM parents become more involved in their school? What can the community do to increase reading scores? How do we establish and sustain high standards and high expectations in children who might not be familiar with such a culture? How do we lure the best teachers to WM?

****Basically they are saying, hey lazy crackheads, put down the pipe and get involved with your children. Hey community of ignorants (yes, I know that's not a word), get involved with the kids. Hey bad ass kids from crackhouses and the ghetto, yes, you are stupid, but hey, we are going to change everything down to your level so it's okay to be that way, we will make it to where you can pass. something. And how can we LURE. They used the word LURE and said "how can we?" WMS is in the GHETTO. It is filled with gangs, drugs, violence and a shit load of kids and parents that don't give a iF YOU SEEK (C&K). Best of luck. *********I AM NOT CALLING PEOPLE STUPID. NOR AM I SAYING THAT PEOPLE FROM THE GHETTO CAN'T RISE ABOVE.**********

---Back to the article---

It certainly would be easy to sit back, point fingers and assign blame for how WM became such a problem school, at least in the eyes of the state. We have heard the same accusations as you: teachers who didn't want to teach, students that didn't want to learn and a community that didn't want to care. Unquestionably, it is a tragedy that WM has reached this point.

But we remain optimistic because WBJC is optimistic. ****Oh yeah, because he is WBJC after all. Didn't you see Lean on Me? It worked there didn't it? Maybe they will learn a class song and everything.****

"This is an opportunity,'' WBJC said, "where we can step up and do something pretty bold and significant for our students.'' We can't wait to see what's in store.

****Yeah me either.****

I Got A New Name

And apparently I can't use proper grammar in my title.

I really wanted a change of pace. Or name or whatever. Living For Today. Yeah, okay, so is everyone else. Big whoop (is it whop or whoop?) Eff it.

I figured I would change it up a little. Maybe I can even become a new person. Hide out a little. *looking around for some scissors and hair dye*.

I think I might get (man that sounds a little redneckish) a new backdrop (like a cool movie or something). Let me see what I can come up with. Or I can find in the free layouts section.

Maybe while THE Husband is fishing this weekend, I will sit down and create a list of stories to tell. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I've said that before. Well, I'm saying it again. Deal with it.

Be back soon.

She Bats For Both Teams

So my friend K-vo asked me the other day what I think of Jen. At that moment, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was about her that I was unsure of.

Then, last night, I noticed that she was being really friendly towards me. At one point she told me how beautiful I am and what an amazing smile I have. YAY compliments!! All accepted without a thought. Anyway, she told me all of this while invading my space. You know, the personal space. Touching my leg and looking all lovingly at me.

Then, as I went to leave, she gave me a big hug and as I pulled away she tried to kiss me. DUBA YEW TEE EFF? She missed and kissed my nose. UMMMM beyond awkward. I think I was stunned. It's not the first time I've been hit on by a woman and not even the first time a woman has been aggressive about it either, I was just not expecting her to do such a thing. Color me stunned.

Hey, I have no problem with who you are and who you do. Go for it. Whatever makes you happy. However, don't try to hit on me or worse yet make a move on me when one, I only play on one team and two I'm a married women. Sheesh. Fix your gaydar because it's broken.

Of course then I had to tell my friend K-vo that his love interest is a switch hitter. Which some guys think is cool but I think she likes the pink side better than the blue side.

What Effing Time Is It?

Okay, so I am sick of the different time zone thing. When I lived in Hawaii, I would have to remember how far ahead New York was so I could call my friends at a decent hour (unless it was New Years and then I KNEW when it was midnight they were already in sweet passed out slumber). Then I had to remember how far ahead Florida was to call my Mom. And don't even get me started on the difference in time between Hawaii and Okinawa and Australia. Oh yeah and Hawaii doesn't have daylight savings time. For the love of baby Jesus.

THEN I moved back to Virginia. My Mom is in Florida and one hour behind me because she is in the Panhandle. That goes for my in laws as well. My boss is in South Dakota so he is an hour behind me. Then Corporate is in Alaska. They are 4 hours behind us right now.

So, when I get an e-mail from someone in Corporate who I am trying to make a last minute project setup meeting request with, I am planning on Alaska time. How in the hell is she going to e-mail me and tell me that she is in Texas and needs it on CST? Damn it woman.

The meeting is 2pm my time EST. You and the rest of the people can figure out what time that is to you and be there. Got it?

Music Tramp

I listen to pretty much any kind of music. With the exception of TECHNO/HOUSE/TRANCE and Death Metal. Don't get me wrong, I can listen to it and at one time did, but they are not my first choices by far.

I love classical, old school hip-hop/rap/r&b/soul, country (current and old stuff), acoustic, reggae and many others.

I love to download songs on my iPhone that will make people look at my playlists and instantly have a look of bewilderment on their face. Classic.

Today, I was able to download some of my favorite old school songs. I am beyond thrilled.

It's the simple things on a Friday.

Nice Job Mel

A few weeks ago my BFF came to visit me. I had to drive two hours to meet her halfway as she was roadtripping with some friends.

Anyway. At the random backwoods exit we met at there was a little yeehaw mart (as I like to call them). We went inside and took it all in. We are both from little places so it was kinda like home for us.

Of course, like smart women we used the facilities before getting back on the road. Once in the bathroom I noticed there were about SIX machines on the wall. Everything from perfume/cologne, tattoos, lubes and of course condoms.

Now, the condom machine also had those little plastic things you place on him to give women pleasure...wait...I am not that kind of girl....ummm I'm not sure what they were.

I was trying to get this glow in the dark flavored condom, but ended up with some random one that wasn't quite as interesting. I still kept it as a joke. I jumped in the truck with the BFF and headed home. I put the condom in the change tray and she said "you better take that out of there before THE Husband comes home or he is going to freak."

Guess who came home last night?

Guess who was driving his truck this morning and called me and said "WHY IS THERE A CONDOM IN MY TRUCK?"

Nice Job Mel.

You Are Inept

I love the word Inept. To me, it is the ultimate word to say, "that person is a complete wackaloon." Wackaloon is another word I love.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. Today, it seems that everyone is

2 : lacking sense or reason : foolish
3 : not suitable to the time, place, or occasion : inappropriate often to an absurd degree
4 : generally incompetent

I need this:

Rumpelstiltskin

I feel like I have Rumpelstiltskin looming around my home buying experience. At this point, I think I might have to promise my first born child to be able to buy a home.

For the love of baby Jesus and everything holy, I just want a house. I am responsible. I went to college full time and worked two jobs. I make a pretty damned good salary and I still work a second job just to make sure that I have money in savings and in checking and my bills are paid. I've lived in the SAME apartment for almost SEVEN YEARS and I have NEVER been late on my rent. I pretty much spun my own gold.

I do not have ANY delinquent accounts, no collections, nothing. And I even have a trusty husband that has a job and and all the other stuff too (minus the college education). He's in the military (he's working on it).

I'm sick of writing letters and promising that I am a good girl and can pay my bills and blah blah blah.

Damn it. I'm so over it all. So much for being responsible.

A Whole Bunch Of

That is what I am going to be doing this weekend. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

As soon as I leave work today, I am going to sit in traffic, which is normal everyday occurence. After I get out of traffic and hit the homestead, the dog and I are going for a nice walk.

Then, I am going to go into the house, take a nice hot shower, put on my PJ's and sit my happy ass down on the couch with the DVR remote, a nice bottle of wine, some food and let the vegging out start.

This will repeat for two days. Saturday and Sunday. I will make sure that I get my to do list finished, which includes, changing the litter box, finishing the laundry and tidying up the house and I will fit in my daily workout, make sure that the dog gets plenty of paws on the ground outside time but other than that, NO PLANS.

And I am happy about that. I have a lot of shows recorded and a bunch of books that can be read.

Happy NOTHING weekend. I rarely get them and I am going to take advantage of it.

T.G.I.F.

***If I change my mind, I have a list of places I have been invited.*** I'm not a complete loser.

12 days until The Husband comes home. Sheesh, he's been gone for a month and a half.

Out of Control

My niece is not just a bad kid, she is out of control.

My Mom would love to put her in a reform type program but have any of you ever checked into those kinds of places?

Anywhere from $2,500+ A MONTH. In whose world do most of the families that have the bad ass kids like my niece have that kind of money?

The state is so "afraid" of putting her in the system (sending her to juvenile) that they make empty threats and she knows it.

Yesterday, by direction of child services and the local law enforcement, my brother reported her as a runaway because she has been gone since THURSDAY NIGHT. SHE IS 14. YES 14.

She doesn't go to school, when she does, she fights and gets suspended. She thinks that she is a grown up. She smokes, drinks, does drugs and I'm 99% sure is having sex.

Let me add that she is a pathological liar and according to the State Shrink is bi-polar and has ADHD.

My brother is a worthless piece of crap and their Mother is just as bad as him. My Mom tried to do what she could when the opportunity came for her to step in, but by that time, the damage was done. She has done everything she knows to do and has gotten NO WHERE.

My niece hangs out in the projects. The neighborhood is so bad, that the cops told my Mother that even if she did call for a ride home to NOT go into the neighborhood to get her, allow the police department to do so. She has already been given TWO trespassing tickets for being in another projects and is NOT allowed to be there.

When I talk to her, she is all Yes Ma'm, No Ma'm, I'm sorry, I promise I will be good, I promise I will be better etc etc. My Mom told me to not believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

I want to believe that she is fixable. That she needs stability and to see a life outside of drugs, crime and the crap that not only did I grow up in but she is now growing up in.

I'm almost 1,000 miles away. I want to drive down there and snatch her up and lock her in a room but I know that is not the answer. I'm sad and heartbroken that my only niece is becoming the kind of kid that I see on TV that makes me shudder and think "what happened to her." Or worse, one day I am going to get the phone call to identify the body.

Down In Flames

So, as the shirt says, the server is down. It seems it went down in flames last night. Corporate wide. Nice.

I can get to the internets, but I cannot send or receive e-mail, I cannot print and I cannot get to anything network related.

And the IT guys said "don't surf the net." What else am I supposed to do?

Hmmm...I tried to file, I can't do that because I need to print off my checklists to do so. I tried to send out orders, can't do that, the printer is also the fax machine. Oh the list goes on and on.

Is it lunch time yet?

You MUST Eat There

There is a restaurant in Clarendon, Virginia by the name of Restaurant 3. Let me just tell you a little something, this is rapidly becoming my all time favorite restaurant. The food is AMAZING and the atmosphere is relaxed and classy.

For some time, Restaurant 3 was my third favorite restaurant behind #1 John Dominis in Honolulu, Hawaii and #2 Top of the World in Vegas.

Since I haven't eaten at John Dominis is about 9 years and I haven't eaten at Top of the World in almost two years, Restaurant 3 is gaining the lead. It's closer than a plane ride away and the food makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

SO...if you are visiting the DC area or you live in the DC area, or if you are just rich and can fly anywhere you want for dinner, please go to Restaurant 3. Tell Ria (the manager)that a friend of Betsy's sent you.

Man I'm hungry.

Holy Ships! I WON

So last night was week 2 of 8 of THE Bar's local Rockstar Wannabe contest. It's a karaoke contest.

I had been out with my friends because TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES. Anyway, I digress. When I got to THE Bar they needed one more person to sign up for the contest. My good friend Jacko signed me up (sneaky little wench).

Honestly, I really didn't care about the contest and even chose a song that I haven't sang in forever. I just wanted to sing because waiting for your chance to sing at THE Bar is painful.

As soon as the song started I wanted it to be over. I couldn't find my pitch and with every note I sang I just wanted the disc to break. When I think I'm doing bad on a song, I get stage fright. YEP, my knees start shaking and I giggle. I actually giggled during the song. HOLY NIGHTMARE.

I got off of the stage embarrassed because well, I KNOW EVERYONE there and they know that song SUCKED.

I was singer 8 of 8. Not exactly the best note to end with.

Voting started and it's all about crown applause. I actually hid behind someone while the voting happened, hoping that people wouldn't cheer for me as I did not think I should win.

So what happens? I WON. You have got to be kidding me.

Now, I'm a singer and I believe in giving someone their props when props are due, but last night was NOT one of those nights for me.

Now, I have to wait 6 more weeks until the final round where all 8 of us will compete against each other for $500.00 cash and a song with the band (one of my favorite local bands).

I have to win now. Must find a song that will rock the house. I want to win on my voice and my ability. Not on my friends being the loudest drunk people in the room.

BUT, you can best damn believe that everyone I know will be there the night of the finals. Bring it.

Whatever Whores

As I sit at work, buried in IPR slides, Procurement, Contracts and all things Financial, my two friends are text messaging me from the bar where they have been since 6 am drinking for the local kegs and eggs. At THE BAR that I work at part time.

I keep telling myself that I should just leave work. Pack up the laptop and blackberry and take it to the bar and log on to the VPN and work with drink in hand. Seems like good initiative but bad judgement.

Oh look, another text. "Yum, green beer."

Whatever Whores.

Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh

For the love of God and everything Holy, please, make the whooshing sound in my right ear go away.

It has been ONE WHOLE WEEK since it started. I went to the ENT today and he told me that there isn't any fluid build up or infection. YIPPEEE...but that he wants me to have an audiogram before he proceeds with any treatments.

My appointment isn't until next THURSDAY. I may gouge my ear out by then.

Get this. Being overtired makes it worse.

UMMMM...hello. Have you ever tried to fall asleep while hearing nothing but your heartbeat in your ear. Not the bump bump kind either. The WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH kind.

Kill me now.

This One Time

Most people follow that statement with "at Band Camp." Yeah, well, have you ever been to band camp? NO? Well I have. And it wasn't all that fun. Think about the movie drumline. Yeah, it was about like that. 8-5, Monday-Friday for two weeks during the summer IN FLORIDA.

And there definitely weren't any instruments being inserted into anyones girly bits. Not that I am aware of anyway.

I've also been to boot camp. NEVER to be confused with band camp. However, some of those senior classmen might have watched Full Metal Jacket one too many times.

Boot camp...well., what can I say. Not as scary as I expected but it still sucked. It's no wonder Marines have that attitude. Boot camp is no joke. You defintely work your ass off to be able earn that title.

Anyway. The post really is about some injuries. And since band camp and boot camp helped to start them off I thought I would lay a little grounwork for my story.

Band camp circa 1989. I was running from the stadium to the band hall in the torrential downpour rain of Florida when I slipped and fell. NICE surfer style body flop on the ground. Right knee, busted all open, muscle torn. Great job. Let's not forget the muscle I tore in my tricep. When I get hurt, I do it good.

Many, many years later, all rehabed up and no problems, I decide to join the Marine Corps. WTF? Yeah...that's about what my Mom said. Even though I was 22.

One fine Marine Corps day as I was repelling, I landed pretty hard after jumping down and there went the knee. Nice little tear this time. GO ME. Just the week before that, I reinjured my arm doing line training.

Here is am quite a few years after that and thanks to, one or two ATV accidents, my knee and my arm and I have spent lots of quality time in Physical Therapy.

It has been about 4 years since I've had any problems. Now both hurt like it is their job to do so. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so when I go see the Dr., they are NOT happy with me to say the least.

Let's go ahead and add that I have an inner ear infection, LOW blood pressure and I am borderline anemic.

What in the hell? *said in my best southern girl accent*

I am 10 days away from my *GASP* 35th birthday. I am too young to fall apart.

Pity party, table of one.

Oh the joys of life.

Boo To Monday

Ughhhhh...yesterday started the Skinny Mel diet/workout plan.

Today, my legs hurt so bad that I can barely walk. Come on body, all I did was 900 steps on the step counter and run 1/2 of a mile. Oh and those jack knives and extenders.

To top of the painful day, while I was walking my beloved dog this morning, the neighbor was walking up as I was walking out. Our dogs love each other and their excitement is hard to control. Picture me, all 5' 3 3/4" and 135 lbs of me in heels and a dress, trying to pull my 78 pound dog.

I almost slipped oh the patio and I tore my pointer finger nail off. I'm not one of those "oh, I broke my nail girls". I didn't break this one, I RIPPED THE EFFING THING OFF.

Now when I say ripped it off, let me just tell you, there was blood and skin and all together finger trauma. I have some pretty long nails and I spend damn good money on having them covered in special stuff and painted to look all cute. Now, all I have in a stub. Less than a stub. It's broken down to the middle of the nailbed.

Holy pain Batman. And do you know how hard it is to type when pointer is traumatized?

Thank You Wiki How

Just when the impending doom was about to hit me, and my biggest fear of being placed into a straitjacket were about to come true, you gave me this precious gem.

Straitjacket

I can now rest assured that I can still go crazy and be able to escape.

Hi, Have You Met Me?

I AM

Overwhelmed

I am a pretty organized person and a workaholic, but lately I feel like I am sinking and fast.

Granted, I work two jobs. One of which I am going to have to go ahead and bite the bullet and say "I just can't do this anymore." The not getting home until 1am on Monday nights is killing me. Playing pool on Tuesdays and not getting home until 12am is just adding gas to the fire.

This week I am working Monday, Wednesday and Friday night. The money is nice but my sanity is suffering.

My house looks like 5 teenagers live there. And I am a clean freak. Often times I will get home at 1am and clean for an hour because I cannot go to bed and think about waking up to the mess.

I have three titles at work (my real job as I so kindly refer to it as) and somedays I spend ALL DAY doing one portion of it and the other stuff suffers. On nights I am not working or spending my one night a week playing pool, you can find me in front of my laptop doing work or answering e-mails on my crackberry.

I need a maid, a dog walker and a cook.

And people wonder why I drink.

Manic Monday #2 (MM2)

Since I really shouldn't even be on here writing a post because I am beyond busy. I think that I am going to stick to the picture thing like I did last Monday. Maybe it will become a theme. Although, searching for the pictures that match my mood takes longer than it does to write stuff out. Ah, whatever.

It's 12:53 and I haven't eaten:









Please keep in mind that yesterday was Superbowl Sunday and:






My head hurts and I am so tired:









I would love to be able to hang one of these on my front door at my house and have it work:









Must get back to work!

Hell I Tell You

***Religious Post to Follow***

According to the
religious tract like this one, I am going to hell. Unless I repent NOW and never sin again.

Some guy gave me one of those tracts last night. Ummm...I was working my one day a week at "the bar" and he handed it to me. I thought it was a joke because it's a million dollar bill. It wasn't until after he left, that I looked at it.

I read around the back of the bill, turning and turning so that I could keep up with all of the crap it way saying.

Basically, it said "...if you have ever told a lie, lusted after a woman/man or have used the Lords name in vain, God see's you as a blasphemous, lying, thieiving adulterer at heart and you are going straight to hell."

So, like any good little girl that was raised in church all of her life by a Mother who has her own ministers license, I laughed out loud and exclaimed, "I am going straight to hell."

Seriously. Do people really think that threatening people into religion is the way to go? Made me want to sit the man down and have a nice chat with him about how he just ate dinner in a place that can be seen as a Den of Inquity, or that the huge steak with baked potato and sour cream with salad and an appetizer and three glasses of sweet tea can be viewed as

Gluttonous to some. But I'm sure that he forgot that those are things that are seen as sins as well.

Oh I could go on and on. I'm sure that I would seriously hurt his feelings if he started trying to spew scripture, as most people that come from a church like this: Living Waters mostly only know scriptures about how I am going to hell and God hates sinner and unbelievers.

I like to start off a religious discussion with....well, who am I kidding? I am not one for the discussion of religion, as my Husband and I are pretty well studied and grew up pretty indoctrinated. Often times it only takes us a few minutes to shoot down a freaks arguments and confuse them into a mumbling fool.

So because I believe in forgiveness, here are a few scriptures that you might want to start off with. Or place on your tract for next time, because the God that I know and love is all seeing, all knowing and all forgiving.

Psalm 51:2
"Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!"

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Matthew 6:14
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Ephesians 1:7
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace"

Colossians 1:13-14
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Anyway...try preaching or teaching love and understanding rather than basically yelling in someone's face, YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

I am in a handbasket though.

Manic Monday #1

Because I don't really have time to think of words to describe my day, I decided to spend my time searching for pictures.

I'm Just Sayin

As the saying goes: "there are those that do and then there are those that lie about it."

I'm just sayin, I'm not a liar.

In The Words Of

Gretchen Wilson

I don't feel like loving you today,
So don't you even try to change my mind,
The best thing you can do right now,
Is just go away,
Cause I don't feel like loving you today,

I don't wanna talk about last night,
I'm angry and I haven't had much sleep,
And I'm so tired and bloodshot,
they ain't no tellin' what I'd say,
I don't feel like loving you today,

But you know I will anyway,
Even though we make it hard sometimes.
I'll wind up forgiving you and probably loving you,
For the rest of my life,
But I don't feel like loving you today,
And I've got 16 hours left to go.
I might tell you that I'm leaving
Even though you know I'll stay,
Cause I don't feel like loving you today.

But you know I will anyway,
Even though we make it hard sometimes.
I'll wind up forgiving you and probably loving you,
For the rest of my life.
But I don't feel like loving you today.

I just don't feel like loving you today.

They Burn

So my husbands best friend is in town. My husbands nickname for R is Player. Player is quite a whore. As his nickname suggests.

Anyway. Player was out with us tonight trying to explain to me why he is still messing with this 19 year old. So, in true player fashion, he showed me the picture texts that the baby sent him. Ick.

Because I'm a bitch like that, I proceeded to show the "fellas" the pictures. As I was flipping through, I clicked on a picture that I thought was one of the baby from far away.

OH NO. It was my husbands best friend in all his glory.

Oh my God. It's like seeing you're brother naked.

My eyes. They burn.

This Is Why She's My Friend 1.2

My girls are a bunch of funny bitches. We are quick witted and down right sarcastic. Sometimes mean as hell and quite hateful too. But sweet as pie when needed. Well, some of us.

Today, I will post about my friend Abs is a little angry. Well, a lot angry really. But she will shut you down in an instant with that glare or death and fast blow to your ego.

Today, she chose to suggest that I respond to a girl that is being quite idiotic in regards to some plates that she bought from me. She wants a $7.00 refund. Not a big deal really, but you see, 7 plates broke and I sold them to her for $.60 a piece and she wants me to pay her $1.00 per plate so that she can replace them at their regular cost. HELLO, I'm a financial person. In NO WAY does that work out in my favor.

Abs said I should write her this

"Crackhead,

Such a big deal for $7.00. $7.00 won’t buy a rock, so you may have to settle for a couple of 40s of Steele Reserve and call it a day."

In another e-mail, which has nothing to do with the "the crackhead, Abs wrote:

From: Abs
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 11:24 AM
To: Melrox
Cc: Freckles
Subject: how we are going to die...

The low is going to be 3 degrees tonight.
Right now it is 18 but feels like 3 thanks to the wind chill.

That is not a forecast. That is a death sentence.

Abs

I love my girls!

YAY ME! I Think

Okay, so someone sent me an e-mail. Their e-mail address was blog234@aol.com.

They gave me a blog award. As you can see, it looks like a drunk kid made it but it's kind of cool looking and since I LOVE getting awards, I figured I would go ahead and accept.

That's two awards so far this year. And I am not even on top of my game yet.

Now I have to figure out who I can pass this one along to. Oh the dilema.

I think I am going to pass it along to two people. One because I think she's pretty cool, and she gave me my first award and the other because he gets so excited when someone thinks he's cool.

No drumroll this time. Just and awards presentation.

In the category of "Smart Funny Girl" the award goes to Penny at She Is Anyway. *applause*. I found Penny on another site and when she moved her blog, I kind of find my way over here too. I'm glad I did. Thanks!

And in the category of "LA Guys That Don't Suck", the award goes to SO at Starting Over At 24. *more applause*. If you haven't had the chance to read SO's blog, please do so. He's funny as hell and pretty eloquent with words.

There you have it. This concludes this weeks awards ceremony. Party at SO's house afterwards.

And The Award Goes To...

As you know Penny at She Is Anyway gave me an award. GO ME!!!!

And now without further adieu, drumroll please...

And the award


GOES TO:

The Sisters at Holy Crappers

These ladies surely don't need another award to let them know just how damned funny they are, however, they never cease to make me laugh and I'm sure that they would give me some of the best unadulterated advice a girl could ask for it ever needed.

Bravo...YOU ARE A WINNER!

Take a bow, give a speech and pass it on.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

I'm a weiner. WAIT...no. I'm a WINNER!

WOOOHOO!!!!!!

Here it is.



Penny at She Is Anyway has given me a blog award. She created it all brand new and stuff, just for me.

Now...let me see who I can find that I think is worthy of all the cool stuff Penny wrote about me.

*scanning blogs*

New Year Black Cloud

Seriously?

There is a black cloud floating above my friends. It's been a horrible last few weeks.

N and T had their baby 3 months premature. He is only 1.5 lbs and 12.5 inches long. Still in the NICU (day 8) and still in critical condition.

Paj was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She is going in for a mastectomy on Monday.

Zips daughter was in a bad accident and had to be life flighted to the trauma center with head injuries.

C had her twin babies 3 month premature and they are fighting for their lives.

J and her husband have just been told that their baby (who is still in the womb) will be born with severe mental retardation.

We all feel like we are sitting around going "who's next?"

Please for the love of everything holy give me some good news.

Who We Were

And sometimes often still are:

When girls are on a wild night out, they can have a lot to drink because the drinks keep flowing as the party continues. The result of this will be drunk girls. It is not uncommon to find drunken girls at a party and, this is the signature and the height of all fun. Girls attend many parties. They include parties for friends like birthdays and even weddings. Girls can also arrange for night outs without any formal party because they are the party.

We have woken up on chairs on the beach, spent the night in the ER thanks to a stumble into a bathtub (thanks Lawgirl), found ourselves freezing in a parking lot outside of a club waiting for a taxi and on the list goes on.

It all starts when Lawgirl innocently says "I think we need some shots."

Oh no. Did I take a nap before I came out? Did I eat a good dinner and drink lots of water? Did I stretch? <--one never knows.

So Pretty...So Shiny...

Once again, I am in love.

I was eligible for an upgrade and since the phone I wanted would have cost me $150 and the iPhone was $199 I went for it.

Look at the beautiful piece of technology.



Now I can listen to my favorite radio stations, anywhere I want.

I can check my MySpace, Facebook and Gmail ANYWHERE I want.

I love grown up toys.

Not Even 5 Minutes

Traffic. $(@#$&))@$^@)#&_@#

There are some days that I barely make it off of my street before the F bomb drops. "You EFFING idiot. Watch where you're going, stupid ass" seems to be my favorite line. Often times, those words jump right out of my mouth before I even know it. It's like my reaction is programmed in my brain.

IF...by some miracle, I am able to make it off my street or the main street that leads to the interstate, it isn't long, before that aforementioned statement comes flying right out of my mouth. &$)@#^$)@^#

Ah hell, trying to merge into traffic from my exit is like trying to find a well paying job in a third world country. HELLO PEOPLE, my exit drops me right off of my road and right back onto north bound exit for my road. I have a very short little span of road to merge onto 95, before I start doing circles. DON'T speed up to get around me so that you can exit and make me almost slam into your car. Because one day, I'm telling you, one day.

The funny thing is, depending on the year, my area has the WORST traffic in the nation:

Here are all 10 of the worst cities for traffic as put together by Forbes Magazine. April 15th, 2008

Top 10 Cities With The Worst Traffic:

1. Washington D.C.
2. Atlanta, GA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. San Francisco, CA
5. Houston, TX
6. New York, NY
7. Riverside – San Bernardino, CA
8. Chicago, IL
9. Dallas, TX
10. Boston, MA.

I don't live "in DC" as most people do not. However, ALL of those people that are driving into DC for that nasty morning commute, come from down my way.

Oddly enough, the volume of traffic is not what bothers me. I'm pretty used to it and have learned that complaining about it and allowing it to piss me off won't get me home any faster.

To make the situation even better, when I leave work in the afternoon, it starts all over again. Just in reverse.

*Sigh*

How Much For 13?

Every Thursday, bloggers jot down thirteen things about their week, Thirteen secrets they’ve never shared before, Thirteen random things about themselves or their lives that give the reader a better idea of who they are. Then the fun begins, you go bloghopping! Tag other bloggers for their thursday thirteen.

Hmmm...why not? 13 things huh? Are there 13 things I want to share with you lot of strangers? What if I meet one you one day? Will you be thinking "she has...." Ah well, here goes nothing. Shhh...don't tell anyone.

1) I once won a dance contest for being the freakiest dancer in the club. Not freaky as in weirdo but freaky as in border line pornographic. *not my proudest moment* --- or was it?

2) In a fit of drunken rage, I cellphoned someone's car. Think red cellphone, nice cream colored car. Now with it's own red stripe. *defintely not my proudest moment*

3) I had to climb out of the second story bedroom window of a *friends* condo in the middle of winter when his crazy girlfriend (who I didn't know about) came home completely hammered and ready to stab people.

4) I once paid a hooker to sleep with my friend and till this day, I'm pretty sure he has no idea that I paid her or that she was a hooker.

5) A few years ago, I went to this wedding of a girl I barely knew. I had only met the bride a few days before the wedding at her bachelorette party (I was friends with her Maid of Honor). Anyway...after the wedding, the bride insisted that I ride in the limo with everyone since I was there with all of the bridal party anyway. While riding along, the groom looked at me and said "don't I know you from somewhere." OMG. Let me out of the car. Since I had no idea who he was, I said "I don't think so, I just moved here not to long ago (my friend played along). Come to find out, just two weeks before that, he had hit on me at the bar and had given me his business card and invited me to watch a football game in his company box seats.

6) I was almost kicked out of college for cheating. Even though I didn't cheat. Someone cheated off of me and passed my work off as theirs and since I turned mine in after they did, I had to prove my work.

7) My Mother has a ministers license. No, I am not "the preachers daughter."

8) I absolutely loathe my brothers girlfriend and if he marries her, I will never speak to him again. -Not that I really like speaking to him now-.

9) I have a sick fascination with the this website: http://www.mydeathspace.com.

10) I am a speed reader. Seriously. I can read a 300 page book in about 2.5 hours (without interruptions).

11) I skipped the second grade and I made straight A's in school until I was in the 9th grade.

12) I knew how to read, write in print and in cursive, add, subtract, multiply and divide, before I went to kindergarten. Yes, I was that kid. I have no idea what happened.

13) I still dream about being an OR/ER Level 1 Trauma center Doctor. Such an aspiration and a far cry from my number crunching in cube land. *has anyone seen my stapler?*

Mindless

1) What is your occupation right now? Number cruncher. Bean counter (some jumping, some not).
2) What color socks are you wearing? Me no wear sock today.
3) What are you listening to right now? The girls in the bay (the part of the building I work in) all chatting and clicking and working and me…not working.
4) What was the last thing you ate? Hold on…let me get my donut. Okay…it was a strawberry covered donut. MMM…to the 10th power.
5) Can you drive a stick shift? I hope so. Or I someone else has been driving my car for the last few years.
6) Last person you spoke to on the phone? The OCD hotline. (kidding, or am I)
7) Do you like the person that sent this to you? I guess. She’s alright. A great road trip partner, drinking buddy and laugh till you cry girl.
8) How old are you today? Effin old. I feel a hundred. Feel me. Wait…no don’t feel me.
9) What is your favorite sport to watch on tv? Ooooo…feetball of course. College then NFL. GO GATORS! Chomp Chomp.
10) What is your favorite drink? I don’t drink. *ahhhahahahahaahahahahahahahaha*
11) Have you ever dyed your hair? I personally have never dyed my hair. I pay Allison to do that.
12) Favorite food? I'm a maneater.
13) What is the last movie you watched? Does porn count? ---kidding--- I have no idea actually. It’s been awhile.
14) Favorite day of the year? This year? The year? What year?
15) How do you vent anger? I don’t get angry. I’m all sunshine and roses.
16) What was your favorite toy as a child? Hard to choose between my big red fire truck (woooo) and my collection of matchbox cars. Tomboy much?
17) What is your favorite season? Football
18) Cherries or blueberries? Depends on what I am doing with them. Cherry pie. Cherry vodka. Blueberries (fresh) and blueberry Martinis (mmm…)
19) Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? SERIOUSLY why do people ask these questions? NO…I don’t want people to e-mail me. I am just sitting here, pouring my heart out and I want all of my friends to ignore me.
20) Who is the most likely to respond? NO ONE. Damn you all. V sent it first, C responded and gets a cookie for saying that I would be the first to respond and K, B, S and M (not that kind pervs) probably will just look at ours and go on with their lives. Whatevs.
21) Who is the least likely to respond? UMMM hello, someone is not reading what I just wrote. PAY ATTENTION.
22) Living arrangements? ME. The Queen, and two hateful pets. A cat and a dog.
23) When was the last time you cried? The same day V did. But mine was for sure on the 29th.
24) What is on the floor in your closet? Shoes. Bodies.
25) Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT SENTENCE? ---that’s not who I am sending it to—That friend would be Sharon. HI SHARON!
26) What did you do last night? Kicked an old lady and little girls ass in Wii bowling. WOOT! Went to the bar and played poker. Then went to the other bar and sang karaoke with the ladies.
27) What are you most afraid of? Lightening. You all think I’m kidding. That stuff terrifies me.
28) Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I like mine with lettuce NO tomato, heinz red ketchup and French fried potatoes a big kosher pickle and a nice cold drink (not beer).
29) Favorite dog breed? Man? They are dogs right?
30) Favorite day of the week? If I could go home right now and go to sleep it will forever be Thursday. I would love me a Thursday.
31) How many states have you lived in? Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Hawaii and Virginia. That’s it? I suck.
32) Diamonds or pearls? D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love. D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love.
33) What is your favorite flower? Fresh picked ones. Free ones. Given ones. I love gardenias, and lilies and daisies and roses of course. I *heart* flowers. FLOWER POWER!

I Used To Could

Once upon a time, there was a very intelligent young girl who could write stories that would wow the masses. Then one day, she lost her writing mojo.

Sad. So sad. Her fingers no longer were able to scribble words that would bring tears to the eyes of the reader, or a laugh from deep in their soul.

She started a blog in hopes that she would find some sort of inspiration and all that she found herself doing was writing stupid little "look at what I did today" posts. Sure, from time to time a poem would force it's way onto the screen, but the great days of writing from within and bringing forth words that grip the emotions of the past, present and hopes of the future have been dissipated.

I can't even find words in my vast vocabulary to make it look like I even used to be a writer. I've lost my elloquence. In written form that is.

In person, I am a quick witted, sarcastic and very engaging conversationalist. I am well studied and well informed on a vast majority of past and present events. I find myself immersed in conversations with people that are socially inept and devoid of true emotion. Without my writing, I feel as if a piece of me is missing.

My writers block is prodigious (the bad kind). My writing personality and I have an animus relationship.

I'm stuck without words from my pen and I feel useless.

This is how I feel http://kisapele.easyjournal.com/entry.aspx?eid=3573971. She just writes it the way my mind thinks it but cannot put onto paper or into words.

Ah Hell

Today sucked worse than yesterday and I didn't think that was possible at all.

Whoever sent that black cloud to rest over my head can take it back now. Seriously.

I am not having it anymore.

..........................

I am not now nor have I ever been an Obama supporter. I think way too may people voted for him because of the wrong reasons. To many people saw Democrat rather than Republican not knowing really anything other than they blame the Republicans for the way the economy is. Or that they hate Bush. McCain is not Bush.

Who cares if the President Elect is black, white, yellow, red or brown. They voted for a black man. You can try to say it's not racial but a great deal of his votes were racially influenced. I hate that this Presidential race became racial but it did and it's going to be that way for a long time.

I am beside myself. This morning, as I was driving past the command building and saw the flag flying, I actually looked at it in anger. For those of you that know how truly patriotic I am that is a big deal to me. My beliefs and fundamentals not to mention my love for this country and our way of life is going to be tested for the next 4 years if not the next 8 years.

I didn't argue politics before and I won't do so now. I will say my peace and leave it at that.

I will not apologize to my gay friends as you know, I am not gay myself. I support you and your way of life, but I cannot vote for you and vote against everything else that I believe in.

You voted how you voted and I voted how I voted. Don't try to tell me that I have no right to be upset or state how I feel. If I were partying in the streets as a white person if McCain won, I would be a racist and that's angers me. Truly infuriates me. I hate that there are going to be people that are going to look at anything Obama does as "a black man did that." That goes for both sides. Good and bad.

Last night on the news a reporter actually said "if you are a conservative angry Republican, get over yourself, today truly is a great day in America." You know what, EFF OFF.

I'm angry as a woman, as a soon to be military wife of a combat veteran who has bled and killed for this country, as an American, as a tax payer, as a working woman, as a Christian, as a Republican and as someone who believes that this nation just made one of it's biggest mistakes in quite some time, if not ever.