So Pretty...So Shiny...

Once again, I am in love.

I was eligible for an upgrade and since the phone I wanted would have cost me $150 and the iPhone was $199 I went for it.

Look at the beautiful piece of technology.



Now I can listen to my favorite radio stations, anywhere I want.

I can check my MySpace, Facebook and Gmail ANYWHERE I want.

I love grown up toys.

Not Even 5 Minutes

Traffic. $(@#$&))@$^@)#&_@#

There are some days that I barely make it off of my street before the F bomb drops. "You EFFING idiot. Watch where you're going, stupid ass" seems to be my favorite line. Often times, those words jump right out of my mouth before I even know it. It's like my reaction is programmed in my brain.

IF...by some miracle, I am able to make it off my street or the main street that leads to the interstate, it isn't long, before that aforementioned statement comes flying right out of my mouth. &$)@#^$)@^#

Ah hell, trying to merge into traffic from my exit is like trying to find a well paying job in a third world country. HELLO PEOPLE, my exit drops me right off of my road and right back onto north bound exit for my road. I have a very short little span of road to merge onto 95, before I start doing circles. DON'T speed up to get around me so that you can exit and make me almost slam into your car. Because one day, I'm telling you, one day.

The funny thing is, depending on the year, my area has the WORST traffic in the nation:

Here are all 10 of the worst cities for traffic as put together by Forbes Magazine. April 15th, 2008

Top 10 Cities With The Worst Traffic:

1. Washington D.C.
2. Atlanta, GA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. San Francisco, CA
5. Houston, TX
6. New York, NY
7. Riverside – San Bernardino, CA
8. Chicago, IL
9. Dallas, TX
10. Boston, MA.

I don't live "in DC" as most people do not. However, ALL of those people that are driving into DC for that nasty morning commute, come from down my way.

Oddly enough, the volume of traffic is not what bothers me. I'm pretty used to it and have learned that complaining about it and allowing it to piss me off won't get me home any faster.

To make the situation even better, when I leave work in the afternoon, it starts all over again. Just in reverse.

*Sigh*

How Much For 13?

Every Thursday, bloggers jot down thirteen things about their week, Thirteen secrets they’ve never shared before, Thirteen random things about themselves or their lives that give the reader a better idea of who they are. Then the fun begins, you go bloghopping! Tag other bloggers for their thursday thirteen.

Hmmm...why not? 13 things huh? Are there 13 things I want to share with you lot of strangers? What if I meet one you one day? Will you be thinking "she has...." Ah well, here goes nothing. Shhh...don't tell anyone.

1) I once won a dance contest for being the freakiest dancer in the club. Not freaky as in weirdo but freaky as in border line pornographic. *not my proudest moment* --- or was it?

2) In a fit of drunken rage, I cellphoned someone's car. Think red cellphone, nice cream colored car. Now with it's own red stripe. *defintely not my proudest moment*

3) I had to climb out of the second story bedroom window of a *friends* condo in the middle of winter when his crazy girlfriend (who I didn't know about) came home completely hammered and ready to stab people.

4) I once paid a hooker to sleep with my friend and till this day, I'm pretty sure he has no idea that I paid her or that she was a hooker.

5) A few years ago, I went to this wedding of a girl I barely knew. I had only met the bride a few days before the wedding at her bachelorette party (I was friends with her Maid of Honor). Anyway...after the wedding, the bride insisted that I ride in the limo with everyone since I was there with all of the bridal party anyway. While riding along, the groom looked at me and said "don't I know you from somewhere." OMG. Let me out of the car. Since I had no idea who he was, I said "I don't think so, I just moved here not to long ago (my friend played along). Come to find out, just two weeks before that, he had hit on me at the bar and had given me his business card and invited me to watch a football game in his company box seats.

6) I was almost kicked out of college for cheating. Even though I didn't cheat. Someone cheated off of me and passed my work off as theirs and since I turned mine in after they did, I had to prove my work.

7) My Mother has a ministers license. No, I am not "the preachers daughter."

8) I absolutely loathe my brothers girlfriend and if he marries her, I will never speak to him again. -Not that I really like speaking to him now-.

9) I have a sick fascination with the this website: http://www.mydeathspace.com.

10) I am a speed reader. Seriously. I can read a 300 page book in about 2.5 hours (without interruptions).

11) I skipped the second grade and I made straight A's in school until I was in the 9th grade.

12) I knew how to read, write in print and in cursive, add, subtract, multiply and divide, before I went to kindergarten. Yes, I was that kid. I have no idea what happened.

13) I still dream about being an OR/ER Level 1 Trauma center Doctor. Such an aspiration and a far cry from my number crunching in cube land. *has anyone seen my stapler?*

Mindless

1) What is your occupation right now? Number cruncher. Bean counter (some jumping, some not).
2) What color socks are you wearing? Me no wear sock today.
3) What are you listening to right now? The girls in the bay (the part of the building I work in) all chatting and clicking and working and me…not working.
4) What was the last thing you ate? Hold on…let me get my donut. Okay…it was a strawberry covered donut. MMM…to the 10th power.
5) Can you drive a stick shift? I hope so. Or I someone else has been driving my car for the last few years.
6) Last person you spoke to on the phone? The OCD hotline. (kidding, or am I)
7) Do you like the person that sent this to you? I guess. She’s alright. A great road trip partner, drinking buddy and laugh till you cry girl.
8) How old are you today? Effin old. I feel a hundred. Feel me. Wait…no don’t feel me.
9) What is your favorite sport to watch on tv? Ooooo…feetball of course. College then NFL. GO GATORS! Chomp Chomp.
10) What is your favorite drink? I don’t drink. *ahhhahahahahaahahahahahahahaha*
11) Have you ever dyed your hair? I personally have never dyed my hair. I pay Allison to do that.
12) Favorite food? I'm a maneater.
13) What is the last movie you watched? Does porn count? ---kidding--- I have no idea actually. It’s been awhile.
14) Favorite day of the year? This year? The year? What year?
15) How do you vent anger? I don’t get angry. I’m all sunshine and roses.
16) What was your favorite toy as a child? Hard to choose between my big red fire truck (woooo) and my collection of matchbox cars. Tomboy much?
17) What is your favorite season? Football
18) Cherries or blueberries? Depends on what I am doing with them. Cherry pie. Cherry vodka. Blueberries (fresh) and blueberry Martinis (mmm…)
19) Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? SERIOUSLY why do people ask these questions? NO…I don’t want people to e-mail me. I am just sitting here, pouring my heart out and I want all of my friends to ignore me.
20) Who is the most likely to respond? NO ONE. Damn you all. V sent it first, C responded and gets a cookie for saying that I would be the first to respond and K, B, S and M (not that kind pervs) probably will just look at ours and go on with their lives. Whatevs.
21) Who is the least likely to respond? UMMM hello, someone is not reading what I just wrote. PAY ATTENTION.
22) Living arrangements? ME. The Queen, and two hateful pets. A cat and a dog.
23) When was the last time you cried? The same day V did. But mine was for sure on the 29th.
24) What is on the floor in your closet? Shoes. Bodies.
25) Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT SENTENCE? ---that’s not who I am sending it to—That friend would be Sharon. HI SHARON!
26) What did you do last night? Kicked an old lady and little girls ass in Wii bowling. WOOT! Went to the bar and played poker. Then went to the other bar and sang karaoke with the ladies.
27) What are you most afraid of? Lightening. You all think I’m kidding. That stuff terrifies me.
28) Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I like mine with lettuce NO tomato, heinz red ketchup and French fried potatoes a big kosher pickle and a nice cold drink (not beer).
29) Favorite dog breed? Man? They are dogs right?
30) Favorite day of the week? If I could go home right now and go to sleep it will forever be Thursday. I would love me a Thursday.
31) How many states have you lived in? Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Hawaii and Virginia. That’s it? I suck.
32) Diamonds or pearls? D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love. D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love.
33) What is your favorite flower? Fresh picked ones. Free ones. Given ones. I love gardenias, and lilies and daisies and roses of course. I *heart* flowers. FLOWER POWER!

I Used To Could

Once upon a time, there was a very intelligent young girl who could write stories that would wow the masses. Then one day, she lost her writing mojo.

Sad. So sad. Her fingers no longer were able to scribble words that would bring tears to the eyes of the reader, or a laugh from deep in their soul.

She started a blog in hopes that she would find some sort of inspiration and all that she found herself doing was writing stupid little "look at what I did today" posts. Sure, from time to time a poem would force it's way onto the screen, but the great days of writing from within and bringing forth words that grip the emotions of the past, present and hopes of the future have been dissipated.

I can't even find words in my vast vocabulary to make it look like I even used to be a writer. I've lost my elloquence. In written form that is.

In person, I am a quick witted, sarcastic and very engaging conversationalist. I am well studied and well informed on a vast majority of past and present events. I find myself immersed in conversations with people that are socially inept and devoid of true emotion. Without my writing, I feel as if a piece of me is missing.

My writers block is prodigious (the bad kind). My writing personality and I have an animus relationship.

I'm stuck without words from my pen and I feel useless.

This is how I feel http://kisapele.easyjournal.com/entry.aspx?eid=3573971. She just writes it the way my mind thinks it but cannot put onto paper or into words.

Ah Hell

Today sucked worse than yesterday and I didn't think that was possible at all.

Whoever sent that black cloud to rest over my head can take it back now. Seriously.

I am not having it anymore.

..........................

I am not now nor have I ever been an Obama supporter. I think way too may people voted for him because of the wrong reasons. To many people saw Democrat rather than Republican not knowing really anything other than they blame the Republicans for the way the economy is. Or that they hate Bush. McCain is not Bush.

Who cares if the President Elect is black, white, yellow, red or brown. They voted for a black man. You can try to say it's not racial but a great deal of his votes were racially influenced. I hate that this Presidential race became racial but it did and it's going to be that way for a long time.

I am beside myself. This morning, as I was driving past the command building and saw the flag flying, I actually looked at it in anger. For those of you that know how truly patriotic I am that is a big deal to me. My beliefs and fundamentals not to mention my love for this country and our way of life is going to be tested for the next 4 years if not the next 8 years.

I didn't argue politics before and I won't do so now. I will say my peace and leave it at that.

I will not apologize to my gay friends as you know, I am not gay myself. I support you and your way of life, but I cannot vote for you and vote against everything else that I believe in.

You voted how you voted and I voted how I voted. Don't try to tell me that I have no right to be upset or state how I feel. If I were partying in the streets as a white person if McCain won, I would be a racist and that's angers me. Truly infuriates me. I hate that there are going to be people that are going to look at anything Obama does as "a black man did that." That goes for both sides. Good and bad.

Last night on the news a reporter actually said "if you are a conservative angry Republican, get over yourself, today truly is a great day in America." You know what, EFF OFF.

I'm angry as a woman, as a soon to be military wife of a combat veteran who has bled and killed for this country, as an American, as a tax payer, as a working woman, as a Christian, as a Republican and as someone who believes that this nation just made one of it's biggest mistakes in quite some time, if not ever.

I'm In Love

With a pair of shoes.

Not just any pair of shoes.

A pair of Manolo Blahniks.

Sigh.

Well Damn

I had lunch today with an old co-worker and an old friend.

The old friend used to live here with his wife and two kids. They moved to Louisiana, got divorced and then he moved back.

Anyway...I said "how are the kids." They have a daughter and a son. Kerry (their son was just a little punk teenager when he lived here but he was a funny kid and a good kid). Their daughter Erica now lives here with her Dad.

After I asked the question, I instantly regretted it after I saw the look in his eyes and then heard This: "you didn't hear about my son?"

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...I was so hoping that he was going to say that he got a great job and got married or invented the cure for cancer or something.

NOPE...instead he followed with the story of Kerry that is described in the article below:

St. Tammany Sheriff's Office releases name of deputy killed in weekend accident
February 25, 2008 4:09PM

The St. Tammany Sheriff's Office on Monday released the name of a deputy killed in a Sunday morning motorcycle accident. Deputy Kerry Snaples, 22, of Ponchatoula, died at about 4:20 a.m. Sunday when his motorcycle struck a pickup that was stopped in the westbound lane of U.S. 190 near Covington High School.

Covington Police, who are investigating the case, booked the driver of the pickup, James E. Delancey Jr., 37, of Gulfport, Miss., with vehicular homicide, DWI and driving with a suspended license.

Delancey's blood alcohol level was "several times" the legal limit and he admitted to taking prescription opiates before driving, Covington Police spokesman Lt. Jack West said Sunday.
Snaples had worked as a corrections officer in the St. Tammany Parish Jail in Covington since March 2006, according to the Sheriff's Office.

_____________________________________________________

According to my friend, the "several times" equates to a .346. And to follow up, the guy has been indicted for Vehicular Homicide and they are awaiting a trial.

Damn it.

Why I Love My Job

Yeah yeah yeah, we do great things here where I work. Lots of great research and development for stuff I can't really say. I get excited all the time when someone is explaining their project to me. I like to hear about how we are going to change the world one thing at a time.

But...

What I really love is when my boss says random things. They are even funnier because she has a very innocent mind.

Today, as she is reviewing a funding package for a project that required batteries and rechargers etc, she said:

"I am 43 years old and I am just now discovering the importance of rechargeable batteries."

I almost spit Dr. Pepper on my screen.

Black Ribbon

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

Sgt. Jerome C. Bell Jr., 29, of Auburn, N.Y., died Sept. 19 while supporting combat operations in Farah province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.

Today, I am wearing a black ribbon over my heart.

Late last week, my friend Melissa, lost her dear husband Jerry in Afghanistan.

My heart breaks for her and their three children.

I cannot even fathom.

I cannot even put into words and explain to you the devestation of his loss.

TAPS

Day is done,
Gone the sun,
From the hills,
From the lake,
From the sky,
All is well,
Safely rest,
God is nigh.

Rest In Peace Marine.

Shattered

With every tear that falls.
With every breath I take
My heart beats slower.
Crushing the life out of me

Who are you?
How could I have been so wrong?

Your apologies are meaningless to me.
In a matter of moments
You became everything I despise.

There are no excuses.
None.

****To borrow a few words from Gretchen Wilson****

I don't feel like loving you today
So don't you even try to change my mind
The best thing you can do right now is just go away
Cause I don't feel like loving you today
I don't want to talk about last night
I'm angry and haven't had much sleep
And I'm so tired and bloodshot, there ain't no telling what I'd say
Cause I don't feel like loving you today...

Four Years

Marine Sgt. Edgar E. Lopez

27, of Los Angeles, California.Lopez died due to enemy action in Babil Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Died on August 28, 2004.

We still miss you.

:o(

I just wrote the date for today as 08-08-08. Yeah...I'm a little slower because I generally write the date in military format. 8 Aug 08.

Anyway...I had a little "ah cool" moment UNTIL...

I had a memory flash before me.

Back in 1988 (the year before my Dad died) I was a whole 14...

My Dad took me out to celebrate 8-8-88 because he says days like that only come along every so often.

Back then I only saw my Dad twice a year. Christmas and my birthday. So that dinner was like winning the lottery.

My Dad died 9 months later.

:o(

OH NO

So I used to joke all the time that Wii needed to make a Beer Pong game.

I discovered today they do make one.

It's called Pong Toss. They removed the drinking reference after many complaints.

Now, if they would just make Flip Cup life would be complete.

***FYI -- I am allergic to hops. GASP. No beer for me. But I can kick someone's ass in beer pong and flip cup. Since my partner doesn't really ever have to drink that much if they join me they don't care that I can't drink beer.

Bring it on.

The Word Game

This will prove to drive you a little crazy. See if you can figure it all out.

FOR EACH PAIR OF CLUES BELOW, FIGURE OUT THE TWO WORDS, THEN ADD THE TOGETHER TO FORM ANOTHER WORD.


EXAMPLE: NOT ON + FROZEN WATER = OFFICE



1. PORTABLE BED + A MEASURE OF WEIGHT =

2. A RODENT + AN OBJECTIVE PRONOUN =

3. A GREETING + A TALE =

4. BLACK SUBSTANCE + TO OBTAIN=

5. LOWER LIMB + FINISH =

6. TO EXIST + TO POSSESS =

7. A VEHICLE + TO DECAY =

8. OBJECTIVE PRONOUN + A SMALL INSECT =

9. A NEGATIVE + ANGRY =

10. BODY PART + CONTAINER =

11. SHORT SLEEP + RELATIVES =

12. IN FAVOR OF + MELODY =

13. SUBJECT PRONOUN + SKILL =

14. ACHIEVE VICTORY + ROYAL FIGURE =

15. RIDE THE WAVES + A PLAYING CARD =

The Drunken Bell

So...somehow a bell found a new home in my car. Not a little bell either, one of those round Christmas type bells.

For the last few days every time I turned a corner all I would hear is ''jingle, jingle, jingle."

How annoying.

I kept forgetting to take it out. Even though it would make me mad on a daily basis, numerous times.

Well...last night my friend C and I had a few cocktails (aka tasty beverages). We walked outside of the bar to get something out of my car and I saw the bell. I immediately drunkenly grabbed the evil bell and threw it across the parking lot. *WOO*

While I am rooting around my back seat for my red bull, my friend unbeknownst to me, goes after the bell. She comes back with it and tries to throw it back in my car. NNNOOOOOOO...

I wrestled the bell from her and turned around to run from her so that I could throw it in the woods.

Oh wait...what is that? A shiny red convertible WITH IT'S TOP DOWN, sitting in the parking lot.

Oh yes...I did. I placed that evil little bell in the back floor board of that car.

Then C and I burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Once we composed ourselves, we walked back into the bar.

The first person I saw was a friend of mine. I asked her inquisitively, "hey Sue, do you know whose pretty red convertible that is outside." And she replied, "it's MINE, isnt it beautiful?"

I had no idea. The fact that I put the bell in someone I knows car makes it even more fun because I can see what happens when it drives someone else crazy.

I cannot wait to see her tonight and ask her husband if Sue was complaining about a strange ringing noise coming from the car.

It's the little things in life.

A Thousand Words

All of them bad. If a picture is worth a thousand words then a picture like the one below is worth what?

This is a picture of my 14 ----yes I said FOURTEEN year old niece.
AND she just turned 14 in July.

YES that is a bag of weed in her hand. And cigarettes and a bottle of Tequila.

I live almost 1,000 miles away from her. If I lived closer, you can guarandamntee this would NOT be happening.

I'm disgusted.

You Deserve You

My dearest best friend,

You have NOT lost your purpose. Being a wife to someone who does not appreciate you, support you and does not love you the way you should and need to be loved is NOT your purpose in life.

I agree, you have lost your direction, because you believe that he is your purpose.

Your beautiful daughter is your purpose.

You are your purpose.

You deserve to smile, to be loved, to be cared for, believed in, needed and wanted.

NOT discarded like you are in the way.

I love you and I want for you to be happy. You stood by me once and watched me destroy myself for a man. We even almost lost our friendship because of it. You were right. From the very beginning.

Regardless of what you are trying to tell yourself right now, I do not believe that he is what makes you happy and I do not believe that he will ever be able to make you happy again. Those days that you used to share are gone. They have been for quite some time.

He is what you are used to and what as you say have worked so hard for. He betrayed you. AGAIN.

Fighting for him is going to crush your spirit even more. You will try to hang on to anything you can and that's not what it's about.

How many chances has he been given? How many times have you fought and settled because he gave in to you? He did that because he is a coward.

You have to be strong. Believe me, I know it's hard. I know that you think that I am some superwoman. But remember, I have put on a good front many times. I don't always smile through my pain.

It hurts. It's going to hurt. It will take a long time to get past the hurt and trust issues but it will happen.

You are better than him and deserve better than him.

You deserve you.

Maybe You Should

Go away.

I've disliked you from the first time I ever met you. But my best friend was in love with you.

I even stood beside her when she married you.

I've been there through it all and as each day passes I hate you more and more.

You are damned lucky that you don't like even closer. But remember, 4 hours is close enough for me to drive there and kick your ass.

You have broken her heart, destroyed her spirit and ruined her thrill for life.

You're a bastard. A lying, cheating piece of filth. You disgust me in every sense.

You are not worthy of her and you never have been.

The only thing that makes me completely sad is that you have a daughter who worships the ground you walk on. HOW dare you treat her mother that way? Is that the way you want your daugther to think that men should treat women?

Maybe you should just go the F*uck away. If murder were legal I would be changing your name to Earl.