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Some Say It's For Lovers, United States

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Missing Her

It's hard to believe that it has been almost 7 months since I said goodbye to my Mom. When people say "there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her", truer words have never been spoken. Often times I am reduced to tears just thinking about her and wishing I could hear her voice. My mind plays vicious tricks on me and presents vivid images of her laying in a hospital bed or how her hand felt in mine as she took her last breath. I miss her just as much and I did as I sat there in the chair beside her praying that she wouldn't go.

If and when you lose your mother, these are the things you'll miss about her most.

1. You'll miss buying your mom a really nice present after traveling overseas. If anyone would appreciate a gift from my travels, it would be her. And if anyone deserved a special gift, it was her. I can picture her saying, "My daughter bought this for me in..."

2. You'll miss asking your mother questions about your childhood.

3. You'll miss hearing your mother tell you, in her own way, that you're amazing. Because no matter how much you doubt yourself, she never did.

4. You'll miss having someone you trust (really trust) and having someone there when you came home from work, who cleaned your house cleaner than when you left.

5. You'll miss her sarcastic humor, especially hearing her say things like, "I've got a lot of problems and that ain't one of them.'

6. You'll miss her emails. All those annoying forwards.

7. You'll miss seeing her handwriting in cards, notes, and lists. It was the most perfect, neat handwriting anyone had ever seen.

8. You'll miss her likes on Facebook.

9. You'll miss seeing the bravery she pulled from God knows where when told, in so many words, "I have a lesion on my liver." And you'll miss her trying to make the conversation all about the banal things going on in your life while pretending nothing was wrong.

10. You'll miss her criticizing you to your face, but bragging about you behind your back.

11. You'll miss getting to appreciate her a little more when something bad happens to someone else, not you.

12. My mom could be a tough-as-nails hard-ass when she wanted to be, but she was also a therapist and always knew the right way to tell me how to manage friend drama and dating troubles.

13. Her driving: My mom was the only person I knew who was a worse driver than I am now. I totally miss her being here to make me look good.

I could list so many other things that I miss and I will miss in the years to come. Right now, I miss everything.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Graduation

WOOT! I walked this weekend and received an empty folder to hold my Graduate degree. Although I technically "graduated" in October of last year, this was the first ceremony that I could walk in. I was the 5th person to walk across the stage. That left quite a few others to follow behind me. The benefit of this was that I was only two rows from the stage. My fellow degree holders and I sat and watched while some very interesting fashion choice paraded across the stage. A good time was had by all. Happy Graduation to ME!

Monday, January 27, 2014

67 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18

67 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18

1. Boys will break your heart. Let them. Learn from it.

2. It’s so easy to become jaded, but don’t let it happen to you. Fight it.

3. Stand firm in your beliefs.

4. Love yourself. Sometimes you’re all you have.

5. Cherish the little things.

6. Order pizza at 3am on a Tuesday. It won’t kill you.

7. It’s okay to laugh at yourself. Embrace the imperfections.

8. You are the rule, not the exception. Life will be so much easier if you accept this now.

9. Make mistakes. If you learn from them, they won’t be in vain.

10. He’s lying, there is no fish tank. Go anyway.

11. Classes can be retaken. Life cannot.

12. Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.

13. The world is full of cynics – don’t become one.

14. Stop calling him. Stop texting him. If he wanted you, he’d be there.

15. Apologize when you’re wrong. Just suck up your pride and do it.

16. Bellybutton piercings are a bad idea. As are tattoos.

17. No one is perfect. Stop being so hard on yourself.

18. Hug your friends. Cherish them. Hold them tight.

19. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh.

20. Step outside your comfort zone.

21. Order a glass of water with every drink. It’s not lame. It’s smart.

22. A bad hair day really won’t kill you.

23. Dancing on tables should be reserved for special occasions, like birthdays and Thursday nights.

24. Don’t dumb yourself down for a boy.

25. Ignorance is not bliss. Study. Work hard.

26. Life is hard. Accept this and move on.

27. Don’t sweat the small stuff, but do sweat at the gym. Your health is your everything.

28. Tell your parents you love them every chance you get.

29. Stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks.

30. Forgive. Life is too short to be angry.

31. You are destined to be more than just someone’s wife. Act like it.

32. People will hurt you. Don’t stoop to their level.

33. Read a newspaper.

34. Sometimes the only person that you can rely on is yourself.

35. It’s okay if your thighs touch and your tummy isn’t perfectly toned. You’re still beautiful.

36. Don’t let your happiness depend on another person.

37. Push yourself. You’d be amazed at what you’re capable of.

38. Smile through the tears.

39. Don’t slut shame. Girls have it hard enough – don’t turn on one another.

40. It’s okay to ask for help.

41. He’ll never change. Let him go.

42. Trust your instincts.

43. Worrying causes wrinkles and Botox is expensive. Calm down.

44. Take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

45. Love with everything you have.

46. Put down your phone and look around. Life is happening.

47. Stand up for yourself.

48. Confidence is everything.

49. Wash your makeup off at night. Seriously. Do it.

50. There are bad people in this world. Don’t be one of them.

51. Be honest with yourself.

52. Be honest with others.

53. You never need that last shot of vodka, but have it anyway.

54. There is a man out there who will not make you cry. Wait for him.

55. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

56. Your success will not be handed to you. Work for it.

57. Don’t waste money on expensive mascaras. Great Lash by Maybelline will always be the best.

58. Give back.

59. He does not define your self-worth. Stop letting him.

60. Life is uncertain. Tomorrow is not guaranteed; don’t take it for granted.

61. Your faith in everything you know will be tested. Push forward.

62. Be carefree, not careless.

63. It’s okay to cry.

64. You will fall, both literally and figuratively. Get back up.

65. Tequila is a bad idea, as is getting back together with an ex.

66. Fad diets never work.

67. Be gracious in all that you do.