Things Other People Said

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't. ~Henry Ward Beecher

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. ~Oscar Wilde

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~Malachy McCourt

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ~Helen Keller

Profound

It's not often that we find something or hear something that grips you.

Even if you cannot put yourself in the shoes of ther person speaking, you can hear their pain, see it, feel it. Your chest clinches and tears flow from your eyes.

That is what this girl did.

I Mean Really?

Today marks the SIXTEETH DAY since I have been sick. What gives? I went to the Doctor about four days in. Sinus infection, cold, etc etc. I got a round of antibiotics and some codeine laced cough syrup. Yeah well. That didn't help. I spent every other day the week before last at home in bed. Last week I made it to work every day feeling miserable. This week. STILL SICK. WHAT THE?

This morning I woke up with my nose completely stopped up, a hacking cough and feeling like someone drop kicked me in my sleep.

I've tried baths, showers, Vicks, cough medicine, theraflu, inhalers, nasal spray, sleep and various other tricks. Nothing is working.

PLEASE make it go away. Someone? Anyone? Light a candle, say a chant, dance in a circle, pray, cast a spell, something.

What Makes Me Happy

With all of the depressing posts I have been making lately, I figured I would jump on the bandwagon of posters and Facebookers and post about what makes me happy. I am a different sort so enjoy.

What makes me happy...

A cold glass of sweet white wine
A good book
A porch swing
Ballet
Singing
Playing the Piano
Dancing
Silence
Music
Dr. Pepper
A clean house
The way someone that loves me looks at me
Sarcasm
Art
Learning
Discovering
Writing
Hoping
Dreaming
Success

Shattered

Words can be like a bullet
The kind that only has an entry wound.
They pierce the heart
Only to bounce around
hitting every major artery and organ
until all the damage is done.

You are on life support
All hope escapes you
Something else is breathing for you

Where do you go?
Do you stay in between?
Do you let go and succumb to your injuries?
Do you fight and wake up, damaged and lost?

Happy 235th Birthday to ME (and the United States Marine Corps)

THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS... is 235 years of romping, stomping, hell, death and destruction. The finest fighting machine the world has ever seen. We were born in a Bomb Crater, Our Mother was an M-16 & Our Father was the Devil. Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life. I am a rough looking, roving soldier of the sea. I am cocky, self-centered, overbearing, and do not know the meaning of fear, for I am fear itself. I am a green amphibious monster, made of blood and guts, who arose from the sea, feasting on anti-Americans throughout the globe. Whenever it may arise, and when my time comes, I will die a glorious death on the battlefield, giving my life for Mom, the Corps, and the American Flag. We stole the eagle from the Air Force, the anchor from the Navy, and the rope from the Army. On the 7th day, while God rested, we over-ran his perimeter and stole the globe, and we've been running the show ever since. We live like soldiers and talk like sailors and slap the Hell out of both of them. Marine by day, lover by night, American by the grace of God.

SEMPER FIDELIS to my fellow Marines. Both active, reserves, retired and those that only spent a few years. To those that are no longer with us, Rest In Peace Brothers and Sisters.

This Week On Facebook

So it seems that I am quite the funny person per all of my friends on Facebook. Often times I am profound as well. Maybe my writing has not really gone away, it is just quick and brilliant (a little arrogant huh?)

Anywhoway. I figured that I would list my status updates for this week. Ready? Set? GO! False start. 5 yard penalty. Repeat second down.

Today (Thursday):

The grass is greener on the other side because it is fertilized with bullshit.

Yesterday (Wednesday):

I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body. I might not be everyone's first choice, but I'm a great choice! I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me! I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I'm proud of who I am today! Take me... as I am, or watch me walk away!

Your freedom is visible at Arlington National Cemetary.

I would rather be too school for cool, than too cool for school.

Tuesday:

Stupid screen door is open and the wind is blowing it back and forth making creepy sounds. Guess that means I have to get up with the shotgun and go close it.

My hamster wheel is slow. I just can't seem to bring myself to run around it all excited right now.

Dear SNOTTY lady sitting beside me on the bus. If you are going to buy your clothes at Goodwill, wash them before you wear them. I can recognize that smell anywhere. I buy my clothes there too. Oh and with that attitude, I think you need to be reading something a little stronger than Billy Graham on your iPhone.

A lot of crazy stuff is going to happen when pigs learn to fly. Just think about it.

When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.

I'm not lying down. I'm in landscape mode.

Pennies are like seconds, you fail to realize how precious they are, until you are down to your last few.

˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ

Always look on the bright side. For example, don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Monday:

Hey LCpl. Thanks for the lecture about my expired base sticker. But um yeah. I will tell "my Marine" as you called him, "to get right on that." Did you notice it expired TWO months ago? Yep, "my Marine" is all over it. Especially since he doesn't even have decals on his truck.

A U.S. military member is somewhere in the world tonight missing their family while you are safe at home. In the minute it takes you to read this, military members all over the world are not only saving lives, but they are also sacrificing their own life for your freedom.

Today, may you be as happy, as a person in an infomercial.

Go go Gadget car.

Nothing Moves Me Anymore

This song explains just how I feel about my writing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVCYRtdtCPU

The Week In Pictures (TWIP)

TWIP. That's the new thing. Or my new thing. Whatever. I do what I want. You're not the boss of me.




You get what you see. And I say what I feel.

Sleepy.

Purely.
Utterly.
Exhausted.

By 9pm I am hardly able to speak or hold my eyes open.

Something has to give.

Aching

Touch me.
My skin lays waiting.
Caress me.
My heart needs to know
a touch.

Emotions are empty.
They lack depth.
Silence is befitting.


My inner dreamer
wanst to know a
love
with
butterflies.

I'm aching.

Letter to Myself

Where did you go?
It seems like it's been forever.
I haven't seen you around.
That wild girl I used to know
has disappeared.

I know that life changes,
we grow up.
But growing up
doesn't have to mean giving up.

I know she's in there.
Dying to bust out and dance.
Dreaming of the day you let her out
to show off again.

Let yourself shine.
Stop blowing out your candle.
Be yourself.

Let her go.
Stop holding her back.

What The EFF Friday?

I need a drink. That is all really. I need something to make this day better.

As it stands right now, I want to face stomp or throat punch someone.

And rumor has it, traffic is a holy nightmare. I mean, after it taking me 3.5 hours to get home from work last night, the last thing I need to do is do it all over again today.

What the EFF Friday?

Hello August

Let's hope that you don't act up like your friend July. I've had about enough.

I am exhausted. We drove over 900 miles to Illinois last Sunday, then we drove almost another 900 to Florida on Tuesday. Then we drove from Florida to Virginia this morning (another almost 900 miles). I made it just in time to hope on my charter bus to go to work.

A wedding and a funeral in the same week. *Sigh*. We were able to meet some amazing new friends and spend time with old friends and family. All in all, it was a great time.

Now I am -40 hours of vacation time though. Ack. Guess I won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Here's to August.

Dear July. I hate you.

I mean really?

My husband and I drove to Jacksonville, Illinois on Sunday morning, to make it in time for a funeral on Monday morning.

One of my husband's closest friends was killed in action in Afghanistan on July 17th. Matt served with E for 4 years in the Corps, where they were roommates and deployed to Fallujah twice. Matt deployed a third time to Ramadi and E moved to another unit.

Matt's desire to do Special Ops lead him to get out and join the Army. Airborne. Rangers.

This was Matt's 5th deployment if you combine them all. He was due to come home on the 29th of this month.

What a heartbreaking experience this has been.

Can this month please get over?

RIP Matthew Weikert

When It's Finally Real

Over the years you hear about someone being KIA. Then you just want to believe it's not true. I've dealt with more than my fair share of losses thanks to Iraq and Afghanistan.

But when you see the DoD Release, then you know that's when it's finally real.

DOD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

Staff Sgt. Justus S. Bartelt, 27, of Polo, Ill., died July 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Rest in Peace:

1stLt Frederick Pokorney KIA 23 Mar 2003
Sgt Edgar Lopez KIA 28 Aug 2004
Captain John Maloney KIA 16 June 2005
SSgt Jason Ramseyer KIA 20 Apr 2006
LCpl Eric Herzberg KIA 26 Oct 2006
Sgt Jerome "Jerry" Bell KIA 19 Sept 2008
SSgt Justus Bartelt KIA 16 July 2010

Rest in Peace Marines. I will see you at the gates of heaven.

TAPS

Staff Sergeant Justus Bartelt.

KIA. Afghanistan. July 2010.

Semper Fidelis.

You were truly one of a kind.

A Ten. I give it a Ten.

My ability to fall down stairs is astounding.

Monday morning, I fell down the last four stairs of the eight stairs in front of my house.

Seems I have torn some ligaments, tendons and muscles. No breaks. I mean that would be easy.

Here are a few pictures of my injuries:

In the ER:

In the ER:

Day Two:

I also scraped up my left knee and my left foot. My right arm escaped injury free until they gave me a tetanus shot in it.

Can I get a round of applause please?

I'm Not Touching You. I'm Not Touching You.

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land".
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, social security, retirement funds, etc. So, I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Style and Grace

How does one fall down a set of brick stairs and scrape their leg, hand and knee but doesn't tear their stockings?

Not so gracefully, that's how.

Excuse Me, Miss

So I'm walking all fast like out of a building. The Main building for the De-part-ment that I work for, when I hear, "excuse me, Miss?" I stopped and turned to see this security guard. He smirked. I did the squinty eye thing of "wait....I know you from somewhere thought." YEP. Sure as shit (never really understood that phrase), there stood RH.

RH is a guy that was standing outside of a local bar (down where I live), one night quite late. My girlfriends and I had been drinking a bit and somehow I was standing there talking to RH. And discovered that he worked as a Security Guard where I work. REALLY? Seriously? Small world huh? Of all the building and places to work he works for the same place? My building is HUGE. I mean HUGE (that's what she said). The chances of him seeing me walk out of his exit (there are a ton of exits) on a day that he works are pretty random. About as random as him being outside of a bar that I am at

Yeah, and so today was the first time I've seen him since that night. Nothing romantical about it, since I am a married women after all. It's just a small little world out there. DC is a big ass city. Where I live is about 40 miles away. There are a lot, I mean AAAAAAA LOOOOOTTTTTTTTT of places to work in between here and there.

I must learn to hide better.

Dear Monday

Monday, Monday. I haven't seen a really bad one of you in a long time. I thought that our life long rivalry had finally come to some sort of truce. Oh how wrong I was. I guess you were just waiting until my guard was down so that you could attack. Or were you waiting until the husband and I had a great Sunday and I woke up all happy and rainbowy and stuff? Either way. YOU SUCK. AGAIN. STILL. EFF You.

You couldn't even wait until the morning light to jack up my Monday. At 12:15am I received a text from an old friend in regards to another old friend. Really? ICU? Critical? Septic Shock? Come on. EFF Hospitals.

Then, my alarm was set for 5:42pm not am. NICE. Only woke up ONE hour late. No biggie. Then of course, the slug line was LONG and I missed the window to find a parking spot in the lot I needed to be in. EFF alarms.

Oh and who picks me up for a ride but my friend CC. I should have just gotten a ride with someone else because the fact that he has to text his girlfriend (who hates me) when I get in the car and when he drops me off, makes me want to hurl in his new Infinity. EFF jealous people.

And then, I realized I forgot my badge. Not only did I forget my badge, but I forgot my Smartrip Card. Damn it outloud. EFF forgetting things.

Last but not least, my HR department has been waiting for me to bring in a copy of something for over a week. Guess what I forgot this morning? You guessed it. The paper. EFF forgetting things. Squared.

Dear Monday. I hate you.

Effword Friday

The silence of my anger is deafening.

I can feel it ripping through my heart like an armor piercing bullet.

Tears puddle into the bottom of my eyes.

Ever so close to spilling over the edge.

I try to collect my thoughts and nothing but confusion seems to come.

It hurts to breath.

I'm suffocating in "I just don't understand".

I'm grasping at something to hold on to.

The more I grab, the more everything slips through my fingers.

Disconnected

Disconnected

My lungs burn with anticipation of feeling.

My nerves pinch as I try to use words to soothe my defeat.

My insecurities play war against my creativity.

Thoughts rush forth but the words will not spring from my tongue.

I am void of any communication that makes me feel alive.

I have learned to smile and hide the pain.

Not The Mama

I hate one uppers. I hate people who think that just because I am not a Mother that they can always try to one up my bad day or my late for work or my so busy statement.

I know, because you are a Mother, you can just trade with me because your life is worse than mine or better than mine depending on the day you want to try to be better or worse than me so that you can get attention or have someone pay attention to you. <----run on sentence.

And my smart ass answer will be "oh I know, maybe I will allow my vagina to produce an excuse for everything." Let me get right on that since I'm not busy enough with working and having a life.

Dum Dums - Suckers - But Not The Lollipops

In recent months, with all of my single girlfriends, I’ve come to notice that men around these parts want to date stupid women. Or women that they can control or “be the tough guy” with. They don’t want to date a woman who is secure and stable and knows who she is and what she wants because they fear that they cannot live up to the expectations. Even though those expectations are set somewhere in their minds and not in the woman’s mind.

Men still fear being equal to a woman. They think that the same as being inferior or less than. And until they get over that, they will forever date women who will feed them and fuck them while they finance it all. What a waste of time and effort.

Back to WTFF?

I just don't understand why people can't do their jobs. I mean seriously, I've seen girls on the corner in Miami working harder to suck a dick for $20.00 than most people work at returning a phone call or an e-mail or "gasp" doing their job.

Hey hooker behind the desk over there at "that place". Stop being a See You Next Tuesday. I mean really. I don't give a damn if you are OLD and set in your ways. Times, they have changed. DO it electronically. That's the way it is done.

Oh and don't tell me to call my SA's to get an answer when it's YOUR SA's that I will be calling. Don't try to play me for a rookie. I know better.

WTF is going on with the workforce today? People are starving and killing themselves. Get your lazy ass out of that chair and go home and starve so that someone can come in and work.

That is it. Bless your hearts and have a nice day.

Dear Hateful Wild Animal From Last Night

Look here Raccoon, I know that we have a dog door and that it's big enough to fit most animals through, but you are not welcome in my basement. Especially at 2:30am. You ate dog food and then terrorized the dogs who terrorized you back and then my husband who tried to make you go away. You are lucky that I talked him out of putting a shotgun hole in the side of the house.

Your days are numbered. Just like those pesky squirrels in the backyard that keep chewing holes in my birdfeeders. My fancy BB gun was ordered before you even made an appearance and you be sorry that you scampered your way into our house.