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Some Say It's For Lovers, United States

Monday, December 29, 2008

So Pretty...So Shiny...

Once again, I am in love.

I was eligible for an upgrade and since the phone I wanted would have cost me $150 and the iPhone was $199 I went for it.

Look at the beautiful piece of technology.

Now I can listen to my favorite radio stations, anywhere I want.

I can check my MySpace, Facebook and Gmail ANYWHERE I want.

I love grown up toys.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Not Even 5 Minutes

Traffic. $(@#$&))@$^@)#&_@#

There are some days that I barely make it off of my street before the F bomb drops. "You EFFING idiot. Watch where you're going, stupid ass" seems to be my favorite line. Often times, those words jump right out of my mouth before I even know it. It's like my reaction is programmed in my brain. some miracle, I am able to make it off my street or the main street that leads to the interstate, it isn't long, before that aforementioned statement comes flying right out of my mouth. &$)@#^$)@^#

Ah hell, trying to merge into traffic from my exit is like trying to find a well paying job in a third world country. HELLO PEOPLE, my exit drops me right off of my road and right back onto north bound exit for my road. I have a very short little span of road to merge onto 95, before I start doing circles. DON'T speed up to get around me so that you can exit and make me almost slam into your car. Because one day, I'm telling you, one day.

The funny thing is, depending on the year, my area has the WORST traffic in the nation:

Here are all 10 of the worst cities for traffic as put together by Forbes Magazine. April 15th, 2008

Top 10 Cities With The Worst Traffic:

1. Washington D.C.
2. Atlanta, GA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. San Francisco, CA
5. Houston, TX
6. New York, NY
7. Riverside – San Bernardino, CA
8. Chicago, IL
9. Dallas, TX
10. Boston, MA.

I don't live "in DC" as most people do not. However, ALL of those people that are driving into DC for that nasty morning commute, come from down my way.

Oddly enough, the volume of traffic is not what bothers me. I'm pretty used to it and have learned that complaining about it and allowing it to piss me off won't get me home any faster.

To make the situation even better, when I leave work in the afternoon, it starts all over again. Just in reverse.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

How Much For 13?

Every Thursday, bloggers jot down thirteen things about their week, Thirteen secrets they’ve never shared before, Thirteen random things about themselves or their lives that give the reader a better idea of who they are. Then the fun begins, you go bloghopping! Tag other bloggers for their thursday thirteen.

Hmmm...why not? 13 things huh? Are there 13 things I want to share with you lot of strangers? What if I meet one you one day? Will you be thinking "she has...." Ah well, here goes nothing. Shhh...don't tell anyone.

1) I once won a dance contest for being the freakiest dancer in the club. Not freaky as in weirdo but freaky as in border line pornographic. *not my proudest moment* --- or was it?

2) In a fit of drunken rage, I cellphoned someone's car. Think red cellphone, nice cream colored car. Now with it's own red stripe. *defintely not my proudest moment*

3) I had to climb out of the second story bedroom window of a *friends* condo in the middle of winter when his crazy girlfriend (who I didn't know about) came home completely hammered and ready to stab people.

4) I once paid a hooker to sleep with my friend and till this day, I'm pretty sure he has no idea that I paid her or that she was a hooker.

5) A few years ago, I went to this wedding of a girl I barely knew. I had only met the bride a few days before the wedding at her bachelorette party (I was friends with her Maid of Honor). Anyway...after the wedding, the bride insisted that I ride in the limo with everyone since I was there with all of the bridal party anyway. While riding along, the groom looked at me and said "don't I know you from somewhere." OMG. Let me out of the car. Since I had no idea who he was, I said "I don't think so, I just moved here not to long ago (my friend played along). Come to find out, just two weeks before that, he had hit on me at the bar and had given me his business card and invited me to watch a football game in his company box seats.

6) I was almost kicked out of college for cheating. Even though I didn't cheat. Someone cheated off of me and passed my work off as theirs and since I turned mine in after they did, I had to prove my work.

7) My Mother has a ministers license. No, I am not "the preachers daughter."

8) I absolutely loathe my brothers girlfriend and if he marries her, I will never speak to him again. -Not that I really like speaking to him now-.

9) I have a sick fascination with the this website:

10) I am a speed reader. Seriously. I can read a 300 page book in about 2.5 hours (without interruptions).

11) I skipped the second grade and I made straight A's in school until I was in the 9th grade.

12) I knew how to read, write in print and in cursive, add, subtract, multiply and divide, before I went to kindergarten. Yes, I was that kid. I have no idea what happened.

13) I still dream about being an OR/ER Level 1 Trauma center Doctor. Such an aspiration and a far cry from my number crunching in cube land. *has anyone seen my stapler?*

Thursday, December 11, 2008


1) What is your occupation right now? Number cruncher. Bean counter (some jumping, some not).
2) What color socks are you wearing? Me no wear sock today.
3) What are you listening to right now? The girls in the bay (the part of the building I work in) all chatting and clicking and working and me…not working.
4) What was the last thing you ate? Hold on…let me get my donut. Okay…it was a strawberry covered donut. MMM…to the 10th power.
5) Can you drive a stick shift? I hope so. Or I someone else has been driving my car for the last few years.
6) Last person you spoke to on the phone? The OCD hotline. (kidding, or am I)
7) Do you like the person that sent this to you? I guess. She’s alright. A great road trip partner, drinking buddy and laugh till you cry girl.
8) How old are you today? Effin old. I feel a hundred. Feel me. Wait…no don’t feel me.
9) What is your favorite sport to watch on tv? Ooooo…feetball of course. College then NFL. GO GATORS! Chomp Chomp.
10) What is your favorite drink? I don’t drink. *ahhhahahahahaahahahahahahahaha*
11) Have you ever dyed your hair? I personally have never dyed my hair. I pay Allison to do that.
12) Favorite food? I'm a maneater.
13) What is the last movie you watched? Does porn count? ---kidding--- I have no idea actually. It’s been awhile.
14) Favorite day of the year? This year? The year? What year?
15) How do you vent anger? I don’t get angry. I’m all sunshine and roses.
16) What was your favorite toy as a child? Hard to choose between my big red fire truck (woooo) and my collection of matchbox cars. Tomboy much?
17) What is your favorite season? Football
18) Cherries or blueberries? Depends on what I am doing with them. Cherry pie. Cherry vodka. Blueberries (fresh) and blueberry Martinis (mmm…)
19) Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? SERIOUSLY why do people ask these questions? NO…I don’t want people to e-mail me. I am just sitting here, pouring my heart out and I want all of my friends to ignore me.
20) Who is the most likely to respond? NO ONE. Damn you all. V sent it first, C responded and gets a cookie for saying that I would be the first to respond and K, B, S and M (not that kind pervs) probably will just look at ours and go on with their lives. Whatevs.
21) Who is the least likely to respond? UMMM hello, someone is not reading what I just wrote. PAY ATTENTION.
22) Living arrangements? ME. The Queen, and two hateful pets. A cat and a dog.
23) When was the last time you cried? The same day V did. But mine was for sure on the 29th.
24) What is on the floor in your closet? Shoes. Bodies.
25) Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT SENTENCE? ---that’s not who I am sending it to—That friend would be Sharon. HI SHARON!
26) What did you do last night? Kicked an old lady and little girls ass in Wii bowling. WOOT! Went to the bar and played poker. Then went to the other bar and sang karaoke with the ladies.
27) What are you most afraid of? Lightening. You all think I’m kidding. That stuff terrifies me.
28) Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I like mine with lettuce NO tomato, heinz red ketchup and French fried potatoes a big kosher pickle and a nice cold drink (not beer).
29) Favorite dog breed? Man? They are dogs right?
30) Favorite day of the week? If I could go home right now and go to sleep it will forever be Thursday. I would love me a Thursday.
31) How many states have you lived in? Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Hawaii and Virginia. That’s it? I suck.
32) Diamonds or pearls? D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love. D to the I to the A to the M, O to the N to the D to the pearls of love.
33) What is your favorite flower? Fresh picked ones. Free ones. Given ones. I love gardenias, and lilies and daisies and roses of course. I *heart* flowers. FLOWER POWER!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I Used To Could

Once upon a time, there was a very intelligent young girl who could write stories that would wow the masses. Then one day, she lost her writing mojo.

Sad. So sad. Her fingers no longer were able to scribble words that would bring tears to the eyes of the reader, or a laugh from deep in their soul.

She started a blog in hopes that she would find some sort of inspiration and all that she found herself doing was writing stupid little "look at what I did today" posts. Sure, from time to time a poem would force it's way onto the screen, but the great days of writing from within and bringing forth words that grip the emotions of the past, present and hopes of the future have been dissipated.

I can't even find words in my vast vocabulary to make it look like I even used to be a writer. I've lost my elloquence. In written form that is.

In person, I am a quick witted, sarcastic and very engaging conversationalist. I am well studied and well informed on a vast majority of past and present events. I find myself immersed in conversations with people that are socially inept and devoid of true emotion. Without my writing, I feel as if a piece of me is missing.

My writers block is prodigious (the bad kind). My writing personality and I have an animus relationship.

I'm stuck without words from my pen and I feel useless.

This is how I feel She just writes it the way my mind thinks it but cannot put onto paper or into words.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ah Hell

Today sucked worse than yesterday and I didn't think that was possible at all.

Whoever sent that black cloud to rest over my head can take it back now. Seriously.

I am not having it anymore.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I am not now nor have I ever been an Obama supporter. I think way too may people voted for him because of the wrong reasons. To many people saw Democrat rather than Republican not knowing really anything other than they blame the Republicans for the way the economy is. Or that they hate Bush. McCain is not Bush.

Who cares if the President Elect is black, white, yellow, red or brown. They voted for a black man. You can try to say it's not racial but a great deal of his votes were racially influenced. I hate that this Presidential race became racial but it did and it's going to be that way for a long time.

I am beside myself. This morning, as I was driving past the command building and saw the flag flying, I actually looked at it in anger. For those of you that know how truly patriotic I am that is a big deal to me. My beliefs and fundamentals not to mention my love for this country and our way of life is going to be tested for the next 4 years if not the next 8 years.

I didn't argue politics before and I won't do so now. I will say my peace and leave it at that.

I will not apologize to my gay friends as you know, I am not gay myself. I support you and your way of life, but I cannot vote for you and vote against everything else that I believe in.

You voted how you voted and I voted how I voted. Don't try to tell me that I have no right to be upset or state how I feel. If I were partying in the streets as a white person if McCain won, I would be a racist and that's angers me. Truly infuriates me. I hate that there are going to be people that are going to look at anything Obama does as "a black man did that." That goes for both sides. Good and bad.

Last night on the news a reporter actually said "if you are a conservative angry Republican, get over yourself, today truly is a great day in America." You know what, EFF OFF.

I'm angry as a woman, as a soon to be military wife of a combat veteran who has bled and killed for this country, as an American, as a tax payer, as a working woman, as a Christian, as a Republican and as someone who believes that this nation just made one of it's biggest mistakes in quite some time, if not ever.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm In Love

With a pair of shoes.

Not just any pair of shoes.

A pair of Manolo Blahniks.


Monday, October 20, 2008

Well Damn

I had lunch today with an old co-worker and an old friend.

The old friend used to live here with his wife and two kids. They moved to Louisiana, got divorced and then he moved back.

Anyway...I said "how are the kids." They have a daughter and a son. Kerry (their son was just a little punk teenager when he lived here but he was a funny kid and a good kid). Their daughter Erica now lives here with her Dad.

After I asked the question, I instantly regretted it after I saw the look in his eyes and then heard This: "you didn't hear about my son?"

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...I was so hoping that he was going to say that he got a great job and got married or invented the cure for cancer or something.

NOPE...instead he followed with the story of Kerry that is described in the article below:

St. Tammany Sheriff's Office releases name of deputy killed in weekend accident
February 25, 2008 4:09PM

The St. Tammany Sheriff's Office on Monday released the name of a deputy killed in a Sunday morning motorcycle accident. Deputy Kerry Snaples, 22, of Ponchatoula, died at about 4:20 a.m. Sunday when his motorcycle struck a pickup that was stopped in the westbound lane of U.S. 190 near Covington High School.

Covington Police, who are investigating the case, booked the driver of the pickup, James E. Delancey Jr., 37, of Gulfport, Miss., with vehicular homicide, DWI and driving with a suspended license.

Delancey's blood alcohol level was "several times" the legal limit and he admitted to taking prescription opiates before driving, Covington Police spokesman Lt. Jack West said Sunday.
Snaples had worked as a corrections officer in the St. Tammany Parish Jail in Covington since March 2006, according to the Sheriff's Office.


According to my friend, the "several times" equates to a .346. And to follow up, the guy has been indicted for Vehicular Homicide and they are awaiting a trial.

Damn it.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Why I Love My Job

Yeah yeah yeah, we do great things here where I work. Lots of great research and development for stuff I can't really say. I get excited all the time when someone is explaining their project to me. I like to hear about how we are going to change the world one thing at a time.


What I really love is when my boss says random things. They are even funnier because she has a very innocent mind.

Today, as she is reviewing a funding package for a project that required batteries and rechargers etc, she said:

"I am 43 years old and I am just now discovering the importance of rechargeable batteries."

I almost spit Dr. Pepper on my screen.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Black Ribbon

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

Sgt. Jerome C. Bell Jr., 29, of Auburn, N.Y., died Sept. 19 while supporting combat operations in Farah province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.

Today, I am wearing a black ribbon over my heart.

Late last week, my friend Melissa, lost her dear husband Jerry in Afghanistan.

My heart breaks for her and their three children.

I cannot even fathom.

I cannot even put into words and explain to you the devestation of his loss.


Day is done,
Gone the sun,
From the hills,
From the lake,
From the sky,
All is well,
Safely rest,
God is nigh.

Rest In Peace Marine.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


With every tear that falls.
With every breath I take
My heart beats slower.
Crushing the life out of me

Who are you?
How could I have been so wrong?

Your apologies are meaningless to me.
In a matter of moments
You became everything I despise.

There are no excuses.

****To borrow a few words from Gretchen Wilson****

I don't feel like loving you today
So don't you even try to change my mind
The best thing you can do right now is just go away
Cause I don't feel like loving you today
I don't want to talk about last night
I'm angry and haven't had much sleep
And I'm so tired and bloodshot, there ain't no telling what I'd say
Cause I don't feel like loving you today...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Four Years

Marine Sgt. Edgar E. Lopez

27, of Los Angeles, California.Lopez died due to enemy action in Babil Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Died on August 28, 2004.

We still miss you.

Friday, August 8, 2008


I just wrote the date for today as 08-08-08. Yeah...I'm a little slower because I generally write the date in military format. 8 Aug 08.

Anyway...I had a little "ah cool" moment UNTIL...

I had a memory flash before me.

Back in 1988 (the year before my Dad died) I was a whole 14...

My Dad took me out to celebrate 8-8-88 because he says days like that only come along every so often.

Back then I only saw my Dad twice a year. Christmas and my birthday. So that dinner was like winning the lottery.

My Dad died 9 months later.



So I used to joke all the time that Wii needed to make a Beer Pong game.

I discovered today they do make one.

It's called Pong Toss. They removed the drinking reference after many complaints.

Now, if they would just make Flip Cup life would be complete.

***FYI -- I am allergic to hops. GASP. No beer for me. But I can kick someone's ass in beer pong and flip cup. Since my partner doesn't really ever have to drink that much if they join me they don't care that I can't drink beer.

Bring it on.

The Word Game

This will prove to drive you a little crazy. See if you can figure it all out.


















Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Drunken Bell

So...somehow a bell found a new home in my car. Not a little bell either, one of those round Christmas type bells.

For the last few days every time I turned a corner all I would hear is ''jingle, jingle, jingle."

How annoying.

I kept forgetting to take it out. Even though it would make me mad on a daily basis, numerous times.

Well...last night my friend C and I had a few cocktails (aka tasty beverages). We walked outside of the bar to get something out of my car and I saw the bell. I immediately drunkenly grabbed the evil bell and threw it across the parking lot. *WOO*

While I am rooting around my back seat for my red bull, my friend unbeknownst to me, goes after the bell. She comes back with it and tries to throw it back in my car. NNNOOOOOOO...

I wrestled the bell from her and turned around to run from her so that I could throw it in the woods.

Oh wait...what is that? A shiny red convertible WITH IT'S TOP DOWN, sitting in the parking lot.

Oh yes...I did. I placed that evil little bell in the back floor board of that car.

Then C and I burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Once we composed ourselves, we walked back into the bar.

The first person I saw was a friend of mine. I asked her inquisitively, "hey Sue, do you know whose pretty red convertible that is outside." And she replied, "it's MINE, isnt it beautiful?"

I had no idea. The fact that I put the bell in someone I knows car makes it even more fun because I can see what happens when it drives someone else crazy.

I cannot wait to see her tonight and ask her husband if Sue was complaining about a strange ringing noise coming from the car.

It's the little things in life.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A Thousand Words

All of them bad. If a picture is worth a thousand words then a picture like the one below is worth what?

This is a picture of my 14 ----yes I said FOURTEEN year old niece.
AND she just turned 14 in July.

YES that is a bag of weed in her hand. And cigarettes and a bottle of Tequila.

I live almost 1,000 miles away from her. If I lived closer, you can guarandamntee this would NOT be happening.

I'm disgusted.

You Deserve You

My dearest best friend,

You have NOT lost your purpose. Being a wife to someone who does not appreciate you, support you and does not love you the way you should and need to be loved is NOT your purpose in life.

I agree, you have lost your direction, because you believe that he is your purpose.

Your beautiful daughter is your purpose.

You are your purpose.

You deserve to smile, to be loved, to be cared for, believed in, needed and wanted.

NOT discarded like you are in the way.

I love you and I want for you to be happy. You stood by me once and watched me destroy myself for a man. We even almost lost our friendship because of it. You were right. From the very beginning.

Regardless of what you are trying to tell yourself right now, I do not believe that he is what makes you happy and I do not believe that he will ever be able to make you happy again. Those days that you used to share are gone. They have been for quite some time.

He is what you are used to and what as you say have worked so hard for. He betrayed you. AGAIN.

Fighting for him is going to crush your spirit even more. You will try to hang on to anything you can and that's not what it's about.

How many chances has he been given? How many times have you fought and settled because he gave in to you? He did that because he is a coward.

You have to be strong. Believe me, I know it's hard. I know that you think that I am some superwoman. But remember, I have put on a good front many times. I don't always smile through my pain.

It hurts. It's going to hurt. It will take a long time to get past the hurt and trust issues but it will happen.

You are better than him and deserve better than him.

You deserve you.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Maybe You Should

Go away.

I've disliked you from the first time I ever met you. But my best friend was in love with you.

I even stood beside her when she married you.

I've been there through it all and as each day passes I hate you more and more.

You are damned lucky that you don't like even closer. But remember, 4 hours is close enough for me to drive there and kick your ass.

You have broken her heart, destroyed her spirit and ruined her thrill for life.

You're a bastard. A lying, cheating piece of filth. You disgust me in every sense.

You are not worthy of her and you never have been.

The only thing that makes me completely sad is that you have a daughter who worships the ground you walk on. HOW dare you treat her mother that way? Is that the way you want your daugther to think that men should treat women?

Maybe you should just go the F*uck away. If murder were legal I would be changing your name to Earl.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mother Dearest

You know what, I don't know what your problem is lately but I am sick of your attitude.

I cannot believe you had the audacity to write me what you did. Have you lost your entire mind?

Your lack of concern or respect for me lately saddens me and infuriates me at the same time.

Today is not the day. I tried to refrain from responding to you, but the lack of caffeine, nicotine, good food, and the lack of sleep topped off by your horrific monthly timing, makes today a bad day for most people, you are no exception.

What have you done with my Mother? I want her back. Unless I have been blind for the last 34 years and this is who you really are? If so, I feel like I have no idea who raised me, it wasn't you.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I Need It

I need a Dr. Pepper like I need a computer to do my job.

I don't drink coffee or diet drinks. I can't stand the taste of them. I don't have a headache from the lack of caffeine, I am just going through withdrawals.

I think about Dr. Pepper every second. I crave the taste. I try to convince myself that just a little taste will do. I know it will not, I will want the whole bottle.

I drink 96+ ounces of water day. I should be able to have just one little ole Dr. Pepper.

At this point, I am willing to without food for a Dr. Pepper. It has been almost 3 days since I have tasted the sweet nectar of the Gods.

I need it.

****Can I get a hell yeah? Not for the redneck women, but for the $200.00 mistake (in my favor) I found in my check book. I balance my check book EVERYDAY, yet somehow missed this. That's what I get for paying a ton of crap off. ****

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Well That Settles That

So I just read "The vice presidential buzz is circling around Gov. Tim Kaine, but the Virginia Democrat refused to address the speculation Tuesday."

Ughhh...I am a registered Republican. I have long since voted issue not party. I have been very, very torn this election season. I'm not a McCain fan, nor am I an Obama fan.

I've found it very hard hard to agree with the platforms of people these days because there are some major issues that I feel very strongly about.

One of my major issues now is, I think the Governor of Virginia Tim Kaine sucks out loud.

Word of the Day:

Pusillanimous: \pyoo-suh-LAN-uh-muhs\, adjective : Lacking in courage and resolution; contemptibly fearful; cowardly.

I've known many pusillanimous men in my lifetime.

Oh yeah, Bennigan's, Steak & Ale filed for bankruptcy. I used to work at a Bennigan's back in the day. I loved that place. I miss those people sometimes. I met LOTS of celebs there. What a sad day! RIP Bennigan's.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Do You Even Know Me?

Hear Ye, Hear Ye...

I do not believe in abortion. If you want to do it, whatever. Don't expect me to talk to you or be your friend afterwards. Sounds harsh. Oh effing well. That's just who I am.

I am not going to stand on a street corner and scream obscenities at you and I am not going to lecture you. I will simply state that I do not agree with your decision (*extreme circumstances are different*).

Just because you are not "where you want to be in life" and "don't want to be a single mother", or whatever the effing excuse is, it doesn't give you the right to spread your legs and create a child. Protection. Use it. For the love of everything holy or even unholy.

Yes, I know that certain people get pregnant on birth control and condoms break. I am not an idiot. My philosophy is, "if you are grown up enough to have sex, then you are grown up enough to pay the consequences."

This isn't even for the young teenagers. It's for the woman who have edcuations, careers and many other things and choose not to keep their child and use statements such as "there is NO WAY I could have this baby."

There is a way. There are plenty of ways.

*Stepping off of soapbox*

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Winery Adventures…..

1. Driving in circles….check!

2. Stopping at the Redneck Macy's AKA Wal-Mart to buy a GPS…..check!

3. Making it to the winery….check!

4. Wine tasting….check!

5. Buying 7 bottles of wine….check!

6. Buying Brie, proscuitto, bread, water, and ANOTHER cutting board and knife….check!

7. Meeting old couple that wants to set up V with 25 year old, hot son….check!

8. Having old couple buy us wine….check!

9. Making fun of wanna be "Hills" stars at Vineyard….check! (Dude, take off your sunglasses inside…really!!)

10. Pictures of old places….check!

11. Shopping at Amish store…buying Hug Heinie wine….check!

12. Shopping at British Pantry…more pictures….check!

13. Falling in love with the taste of warm crotch water….check!

14. Putting on fresh deodorant on Rte. 28…check!!

15. Drunk dialing Mario….check!

16. Calling C because she's our Internet whore, but she doesn't answer….check!

17. Driving and starving….check!

18. Eating crustaceans and rehydrating….check!

19. Shopping at Target at 2100….check!2

0. Driving home and passing out….check!

21. A winery day with Mel & V-dog….PRICELESS!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

There's Rice In My Bra

I'm glad that I am the only one in my office right now. It seems that my stomach was starting to turn on me and I needed food quick like. So what do I do??? I order Chinese.

I have been craving Chinese food lately like it's my job. I almost kissed that little man when he handed me my food.

I rushed up the stairs and became angry that I work in a place we have to scan through doors. I lost precious food bonding moments.

Once at my desk, I ripped the bag open to find my order of crab rangoon. AKA heaven to me. Then I opened the styrofoam container and it almost had a light beaming from it as if I had hit the mother load. Orange chicken and fried rice. DROOL.

Let's not forget the sugar donuts. Those little fried sugar coasted drops of heaven speak for themselves.

I had to stop halfway between my chowdown fest, again, losing precious moments of food bonding. It seems that my fork wasn't a big enough shovel and along the way I lost all kinds of manners and was leaned over the container shoveling food in my mouth. Rice fell down my shirt and into my bra WHAT? I had to stand up and shake it out.


Golf Shoes and Tylenol

Yeah so, V and I went to drink Blueberry Martinis last night. I had two.

We then left to go to another place where I drank something called a push pop and a Raspberry Lemonade.

We weren't done yet. We ended up at old faithful and had another push pop from Shot Boy Robbie (this guy always buys shots) and another drink.

I'm not feeling bad this morning I just need a little sleep and water. The tylenol that I discovered in my first aid kit I keep in my desk drawer was a savior. Hope no one really needs tylenol anytime soon.

At 8am E called me and asked me if he could spend $90.00 on golf shoes. 1) He really doesn't golf. He's just out of town for a tournament for something else and all of the guys are playing golf today. 2) Golf shoes??? Really. Are you going to use them? 3) Are golf shoes necessary? And why do they cost $90.00?

I need a nap.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I Live In A Pineapple Above The Sea

Why? How? When? What? Who? Where?

Why Is It That:

*Every time a Cop gets behind you or in front of you for that fact, knowing how to drive is no longer an option, and you automatically assume the, I’m going to get pulled over position?

*You never have just ONE lighter? You either can't find one to save your life, OR you have enough to supply the entire neighborhood.


*Do FEMALES pee on a toilet seat? When they hover.. DON’T move before you wipe…Seriously.

*Did some people graduate High School, and to this day, not be able to pass a second grade spelling test?

*Do I miss a section on my knee, every time? Dry shaving after the fact sucks.

* Do I lose a million strands of hair each day, and still manage to have a FULL head of hair?


*Did guys start thinking that it was ok to go to the bathroom together?

*Did the Seasons in Virginia all start meshing together? 80 degrees in December and 40 degrees in May.

*Did I start being able to function properly off of 15 hours of sleep... FOR the WEEK?

*Did fake breasts, fake nails, fake hair, fake personalities become hot?

*Did it become ok to wear socks during sex? Seriously?


*Is REALLY in a Slim Jim? Furthermore, how the do you 'snap into one’?

*Difference does it make, if you have 4 channels, or 500? Regardless, nothing is EVER on TV.

*Did drama become a hobby? Better yet… when did it become a necessity?


*Came up with the idea to put rice in salt shakers? What could of made someone be like.. ' DUDE!!! I bet if you put rice in the salt, it won’t clump together!!

*Decided to make Spongebob live in a damn pineapple? There are no PINEAPPLES in the sea! What if he didn't want the smell of fruit all up in his nostrils every morning? You know fruit juice makes a sponge SWELL up… and above and beyond that.. Who decided that having a SPONGE live in water was a good idea? It’s a SPONGE! Don’t you think he might need to decrease his water intake ???


* Did I leave My Sanity- *Reward If Found*

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Someone Should

Seems to be the theme of the day.

I drove my dear dog to pet care this morning and no one was there. To say that I was livid is quite an understatement. Especially when I had to drive all the way back home to drop her off which made me late for work. SOMEONE SHOULD have been there. SOMEONE SHOULD have answered the phone. SOMEONE SHOULD have posted something if they weren't going to be there.

Yesterday at 3:30 it was 89 degrees in my office. WTF? There was a heat index of stupid and the temperature was hell like. SOMEONE SHOULD fix our damned air conditioning.

The parking situation where I work is horrendous. I shouldn't have to walk 1/2 of a mile in 100 degree heat to get to my office. Give us more parking. SOMEONE SHOULD.

That woman that lives in CA. She needs to get off of her stupid whorish, ignorant bitch kick and sign the effing papers before I fly to CA and kick her nasty ass. Atleast SOMEONE SHOULD.

E is out of town all weekend. I've already convinced all of my friends to have a girls weekend. SOMEONE SHOULD thank me.

I didn't know this man, but he was a great friend and brother in arms of my fiances best friend. Staff Sgt. Danny P. Dupre, 28, of Lockport, La., died July 15 from wounds sustained while supporting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 9th Marines, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C. Thank a Veteran for your freedom. SOMEONE SHOULD.

Quote of the day: However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. - Winston Churchill SOMEONE SHOULD.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Little Drummer Boys

Please stop having band practice in my head. I'm sorry that I woke you up on a Monday night. I know that it was completely inappropriate of me to drink those drinks.

Could you please go back to sleep just for a few more days?

I have too many things to make sure I take care of to have you banging away. I gave you food, water, caffeine and medicine.

What more you want from me? Sleep is not an option right now. PLEASE I beg you.

*On a side note* I read this today on a friends e-mail: "If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Hey You, Stupid


It is not okay to call me sweetie and smack me on the ass when I walk away.

Nor is it okay to think that because I am working in a bar that I have only 2 brain cells.

I am here to make a little extra cashola to party my little bit of free time away.

I have a college education and work two jobs because I CAN and because I want to.

Don't be jealous that I make more money than you. I'm smarter than you. Or I atleast have more class in my pinky toe than you have in that steroid ridden body of yours.

Hello, you are in the town I currently live in. Look around. Not to fabulous is it? HOWEVER, I do live within 45 minutes (on a good traffic day) of our Nations Capital. And Just because you think that you look better than most of the guys around this town, (which isn't hard to do) doesn't give you the right to act as if your are King Henry VIII and can have anything you want. Do you even know who King Henry the VIII is? Or why I refered to him? Probably not.

Oh...and don't go getting your dumb ass little pathetic feelings hurt when I tell you about yourself, or the lack thereof. If you are going to ack like a dickhead then I am going to treat you as such.

And FYI, you might want to ask around about people before you decide to talk smack to the girl in the bar who in the past was known as the leader of the Manhaters and often times has to remind inept fucktards such as yourself that hell hath no fury like a liberated woman whom you have just tried to treat as if she should be barefoot in the kitchen saying "yes dear" and sucking your dick on command. I enjoy shutting down the rantings of mindless egotistical wastes of space.

Friday, June 13, 2008


My fingers sit on the keys
restlessly tapping
impatiently waiting
for the emotions to pour from them.

Searching for relief...
From...the pain

So many things to write,

Yet unable to put anything into words.

Tears fight to escape my eyes.

Stubborness pushes them back into hiding.

I want to scream out in rage.

Rage out in pure disgust.

I want to lay in the arms of my Mother and weep like a child.

Today is like a kite plumenting to the earth

Out of control Wildly


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Half Mast

Sgt. Merlin German, 22 of Manhattan, N.Y., died April 11 at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, from wounds he suffered while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on Feb. 22, 2005. On February 20, 2005, an IED exploded underneath LCpl Merlin German's humvee in Fallujah. He was blown out of the turret but he was on fire. After some very brave Marines got to him and put the fire out on their buddy, Merlin was left with 3rd degree burns over 97% of his body. The soles of his feet and the top of his head were the only areas not burned.

The headlines read with dramatic dread as the pundits shake their heads

Irreverently counting the cost asking how many more kids will be lost?

They should for a second pause and ease their concern over what they consider a lost cause.

They should stop wringing their hands and remember other times and distant lands.

A little history of the Corps they should learn,

They should read the stories of the greatest Marine whose equal few even in the Corps has seen.

Sergeant Dan Daly whose immortal words in polite company can't be heard

Who in the midst of Belleau Woods strife

told his Marines to consider the implications of eternal life

They should ask the youngest boot who's barely learned to salute

Why the stripe in his uniform is red commemorating the blood of the Corps honored dead.

Perhaps they should stand on Surabachis sacred mount

and lament the horrific body count and question

the price that was paid where uncommon valor was so clearly displayed.

Let them go to places with strange sounding names

like Chateau-Thierry, Soissons, St. Mihiel, and Muesu Argonne.

Let them gaze upon these hallowed places

Let them see the tears on old Leathernecks faces

Let them watch as The Proud and The Few in unchanged tradition pass in review.

Then let them try if they dare this current war to compare

and if for a moment after all they have seen believe

this noble cause is lost and not worth the horrible cost

let them try to tell it to a Marine.

Friday, May 16, 2008


Tomorrow you will have been gone for 19 years.

It's hard to believe that you have been gone that long. I still miss you. At this time of the year the pain still feels so brand new.

I'm still sad that you weren't able to be there at my high school graduation.

You weren't able to see me walk across the stage to receive my college diploma.

You won't be there to walk me down the aisle when E and I get married.

I didn't grow up with you living in our house and I didn't get to see you that often but you were still my Daddy.

I cherished the moments we shared and I know that I was the light of your life.

You died the day after your oldest sons birthday.

I'm angry that you weren't able to put down the bottle. Weren't we worth living for?

I'm still hurt, sad and angry.

I still miss you like the 15 year old girl who lost her Daddy.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I found a story written about my friend Jason who was KIA on April 20, 2006. I wanted to post it in my blog so that I can always be reminded of what kind of heroes we have fighting for our country. There isn't a day that goes by that my heart does not ache for Jasons wife Mandy and their two daughters. Anyone who ever had the pleasure of meeting Jason was instantly a better person just for being in his presence. He truly was an amazing husband, father, friend, Marine, Son and so many other things. The world lost a hero on April 20, 2006. This is the link to the site I found the article:

The title of this blog is Jasons grave marker in Arlington.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Sports Wench

I am a sports girl. I LOVE SPORTS.

However, today this journal entry is about the players form my hometown (Pensacola, Florida).

Pensacola has produced some pretty big named players and even some small named players. If you look at the high school teams playing around there now, they have some kids giving the college recruiters a tough time.

Now, my issue with talking to people about Pensacola is that the questions they ask me are: Isn't Emmitt Smith from there? Do you know him? Yes to both. I haven't seen Emmitt since 1994 though so I don't really "know" him anymore but I knew him then.

AND...Isn't that where Roy Jones Jr., is from? Do you know him? Yes again to both. I haven't seen Roy since about 1997 so I don't really "know" him anymore either.

With that out of the way, there are quite a few other athletes from my hometown. Some bigger than others.

Ever heard of Derrick Brooks? Yeah, he plays for Tampa Bay. He is from Pensacola. How come no one talks about him?

How about Fred Robbins? He plays for this years SuperBowl Championship Team THE NEW YORK GIANTS (my favorite NFL team) AND he graduated from the same high school as I did.

Reggie Evans plays for the Philadelphia 76ers. He previoulsy played for the Seattle SuperSonics (2002–2006) and the Denver Nuggets (2006-07). I went to the high school he graduated from for 6 months. That high school is no longer in existence.

Joe Durant won 4 PGA Tours.

Travis Fryman played for the Detroit Tigers and the Cleveland Indians. Another graduate of the same high school as me. As a matter of fact, the gym at that school is named after him.

Danny Wuerffel was born in Pensacola but went to FWB High School. He played for the Florida Gators (my favorite college team). Granted he fell apart in the NFL but hey. He is a Heisman Trophy winner and a National Championship Winner.

Jay Bell played for the Cleveland Indians (1986-88), Pittsburgh Pirates (1989-96), Kansas City Royals (1997), Arizona Diamondbacks (1998-2002) and New York Mets (2003). He is another graduate from the same high school as me.

Going a little futher back, we find Don Sutton. He was a pitcher for 23 years, playing for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics, and California Angels. He is in the Baseball Hall of Fame and ANOTHER graduate of the same high school as me. So let's recap. We have football players, baseball players, a basketball player and a golfer. Go us! Let's not even get into the whole State of Florida because we will be here for days on end.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Chainsaws and Rollercoasters

I pride myself on being able to write funny stuff from time to time. Even if that stuff is written in a MySpace bulletin format.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Chain saw, trash bags, rope, shovel, blah blah blah.

2. When was the last time you threw up I don't throw up. You shut up.

3. What's your favorite curse word? Good girls don't curse. Shame on you for thinking so.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Me, Myself and I. HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY...

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? That is an ungodly hour to speak of on a Saturday morning. Especially to those of us that work 2 jobs. Whatever.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Judging my boss' cartwheel technique.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Layin it down on the flip side.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes. It's amazing the skills those girls have. I guarantee they will be the future leaders of America. They hold the true moral values that our country should be founded upon.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? You're so fine, you blow my mind, how bout I hit it from behind?

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Bubble gum...u get free gum, c'mon!

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Not telling. 'Cause you can't have none.

12. What are you wearing right now? White turtle neck, dark green vest, pink camisole, white bra with matching panties (grrr), red leggings, black pants, blue suspenders, black knee high socks, white knee pads, yellow sweatband, purple ring pop, red fruit roll-up earrings (made them myself), aluminum foil grill, neon green scrunchie.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Food. Interesting concept huh?

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Pocket protector. I'm pretty stoked about it.

15. When was the last time you ran? Last week when they had a prostitution ring bust in my neighborhood.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Dodgeball.

17. Have you been drinking? No officer. I am am the designated driver.

18. Who is the last person you emailed? Your mom.

19. Ever go camping? Around here, we call it livin.

20. Do you have a tan? Why's it always gotta be a tan thing?

21. Are you mad? Like Britney Spears mad?

22. What kind of car do you drive? Whatever kind the John that pays the most is driving.

23. What is today? It's ummmm...wait...what? Ummm...where am I?

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? If I'm at a fancy sit-down restaurant. But that's only once every couple of years or so....

25. What did your last IM say? The body is buried in the backyard, if you talk, I kill you.

26. Are you someone's best friend? Hellz yeah I am. The Johns lost to tell me whatever I want them to.

27. What are you doing tomorrow? Even street walkers have to rest.

28. Where is your mom right now? Wouldn't you like to know.

29. Look to your left, what do you see? The street sign. Sooo exciting! Take it off!

30. What color is your watch? Don't got no watch. I'm a rebel.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ? My Aunt, Uncle and cousins cookin somethin on the bar-bie!

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Sometimes I think about it and I'm like, "well maybe just a little here or there" then I see someone later in life who had it done years ago and they look disgusting and I realize that I'd rather just diet and work out really hard and make good with what I got. Nothin a little tissue can't fix.

33. What is your birthstone? Skulls and Crossbones

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit thedrive thru? Drive thru so I can peg the cashier woman in the head with a penny.

35.How many kids do you want? Can my man count as all that I want?

36. Do you have a dog? Yes. And she can kick your dogs butt.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? My pimp.

38. Have you met anyone famous? I am famous....for being amazing. What what.

39. Any plans today? Just filling this out and then skidaddling to bed. (I know you love that I brought out the skiddaddle, really, how long has it been since you've heard that one?).

40. How many states have you lived in? Notchyos.

41. Ever go to college? School of the hard knocks NOVA DAME. Oh and an accredited one too.

42. Where are you right now? Hello. Obvious. Like...duh.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Lack of sleepizzle fo shizzle.

44. Last song listened to? If you stand on it...we stand behinnnnnnnnd it!

45. Where were you 6 hours ago? I have an alibi, I swear.

46. Are you allergic to anything? Dumb drunk men at the bar. Ick...

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My bo bos. Walmart special yo.

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Nah brah.

49. Are you in love? How much are you paying?

50. Is anyone jealous of you? Probably, there are many haters out there.

51. What time is it? You tell me. I ain't got not watch, remember?

*52. Do any of your friends have children? Yes, but we don't talk about their boyfriends like that.

53. Do you eat healthy? Define healthy.

54. What do you usually do during the day? Square dance, play jenga, and do a little break dancing.

55. Do you hate anyone right now? only love for yas.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? And howdy...can't forget howdy.

57. Ever been in the military? My DD-214 says I was.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? How old are you looking for?

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nah, I just ride real fast around corners through Northeast DC. Same thing. Ghetto rollerocaster.

Monday, February 4, 2008

I'm A Giant

GO GIANTS! I am so freaking happy. I ran around screaming so much that my throat hurts this morning. I am exhausted and slightly hungover sitting at my desk, but it was worth it. I the G-Men. I love that Tom Brady ate grass many times last night. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


AND I QUOTE: "...Hillary Clinton has always been a strong woman and a passionate protector of families. For 35 years, that’s exactly what she has been doing."

Even worse than the quote is who said it. Maya Angelou. Seriously. I am losing all kinds of respect for so many people who I once thought had a brain in their head. "...a passionate proctector of families." REALLY? Hmm...let me see. Hey little girls out there. It's okay to grow up and get married and allow your husband to get his dick sucked by some other woman and have sex with her too because that's the way men should treat women. Now go and elect me as leader of the free world because I have family values. Can't you tell?

Give me an effing break. Hillary is worthless. Always has been and always will be. I hate Bill Clinton too. Always have and always will. I would rather vote for Mickey Mouse than to vote for her.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Grammar Smackdown

Todays grammar lesson is about the use of i.e and e.g: When you mean "for example," use e.g. It is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase exempli gratia. When you mean "that is," use "i.e." It is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase id est. Either can be used to clarify a preceding statement, the first by example, the second by restating the idea more clearly or expanding upon it. Because these uses are so similar, the two abbreviations are easily confused. If you just stick with good old English "for example" and "that is" you won't give anyone a chance to sneer at you. If you insist on using the abbreviation, perhaps "example given" will remind you to use "e.g.," while "in effect" suggests "I.E."

Friday, January 11, 2008

Full Of...


For those of you that have ever been to a WaWa convenience store: Did you know that: The word is a Lenni Lenape Indian word for the Canada Goose that was found in the Delaware Valley, that's why they use the goose on Wawa's corporate logo.

For those poker players like me: Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.

Because I LOVE lobster: 1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.

For those of you that forget stuff: The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

For you musicians (such as myself): American car horns beep in the tone of F.

I found the old woman in the shoe: The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets.

Because I am from Florida and I love to bash peoples ideas of hearing the ocean in their shells: The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Any cup-shaped object placed over the ear produces the same effect.

Just because I think this is funny: Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

For all of you Atheists, no more Goodbye for you: "Goodbye" came from "God bye" which came from "God be with you."

This made me say "no way": Did you know that ants never sleep?

For you stamp lickers out there: You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time you lick a stamp.

Next time you yell at a fly know this: Flies are deaf.

Maybe this is why Patrick from Spongebob is so stupid: Starfish do not have brains.

Look smart the next time you are someplace with a "your are here arrow: The 'you are here arrow' on a map is called the IDEO locater.

So,they do know how to play nice...: No President of the United States was an only child.

Poor things: A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. (I think it's because they fly at high speeds): The dragonfly is the fastest flying insect at 55-60mph.

Damn chickens: There are more chickens than people in the world.

And yet there are still so many animals: More than 100 million people hold hunting licences.

YAY he has his own day: Today is designated Winnie the Pooh Day.

For all of you pot smokers and movie watchers: All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

A little Sesame Street knowledge: The characters "Bert" and "Ernie" on Sesame Street were named after "Bert the cop" and "Ernie the taxi driver" in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life.

Someone do this for me please: If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

NO WAY: More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

WOOHOO!!!! It is estimated that at any one time, 0.7% of the world's population are drunk.

Your music lesson for the day: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and the alphabet song have the same tune. ***I know you just sang them***