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Some Say It's For Lovers, United States

Friday, July 10, 2009

WTFF



I'm going to try to start a new thing. WTFF. It stands for WTF Fridays.

Fridays are either horribly busy or so slow that I can barely keep my eyes open with out toothpicks.

Today is one of those toothpick days. So here is my first entry into WTFF.

1) WHO names their child AWESOME? Are you serious? Really? That's your name? WOW. Out loud. WTF?

2) While we are on the topic of names, there is a girl that I know, whose name is Crystal. Her last name is Day. Take a wild guess at what her middle name is? Come on...Crystal _______ Day. If you guessed CLEAR then you are todays winner (of nothing). Crystal Clear Day. REALLY people? WTF?

3) Dear Smart Ones Meals. If you are going to make a dish hot. I mean, my throat and lips are burning from the spices hot, then you should warn a bitch. WTF?

4) Hey dumb ass. My rib is either cracked or I tore my intercosal muscle (still waiting on the xray results). What makes you think I want to go to
Kings Dominion???? Roller costers and rides that slam you around are not condusive to such injuries. WTF?

5) Hey Steve McNair. WTF were you thinking? Guess it doesn't matter anymore. Dumb ass. Did you honestly think that a 20 year old waitress wasn't going to cap your ass when she figured out you really weren't leaving your wife? WTF?

6) I meant what I said the last time I saw you. What happened was 21 years ago. If you choose not to remember then that is your damn fault. I choose to hate you. I also choose to wish nothing but the worst for you. Don't you ever ask someone if they know anything about me or where I am. WTF are you thinking? Stupid bastard.

7) Dear drivers/travelers. In case you haven't noticed, or you can't read, the DC area has the SECOND worst traffic in the nation. WHY on earth would you plan a trip that will put you in rush hour traffic? Granted the traffic here SUCKS all the time but rush hour is much worse. GET ouf of my way. I'm trying to go home. You should have been 100 miles from here by now. WTF?

8) Why is it only 2:30pm? 5:00 can't come fast enough. Why is the President of the Company as well as the Director of Operations on vacation and they can't see it fit to give us a "go home a little early day?" They do it all the time when they are here. WTF?

9) Dear self. When someone in the office says "I can't get it in the hole" while talking about the plug for their computer speakers. It is NOT appropraiate to say "that's what HE said." WTF woman?

10) Dear husband. When you say "we are going to that party tonight" and I have no idea what you are talking about, don't proceed to say "we are leaving at 7:30" when I won't even be home from work until 6:30 thanks to the idiots from #7. WTF are you thinking?

It's Friday. I should be sleeping or drinking or something. Not working. WTF?

2 comments:

Melissa Blake said...

Great idea! :)

Anonymous said...

LOL I love your rants!

OK, so did I understand that you're coming to Columbia, SC? "The Little Big City?" lol
If so, you MUST tell me how to contact you so I can direct you to all the best places. And maybe buy you a cocktail!