A Whole Bunch Of

That is what I am going to be doing this weekend. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

As soon as I leave work today, I am going to sit in traffic, which is normal everyday occurence. After I get out of traffic and hit the homestead, the dog and I are going for a nice walk.

Then, I am going to go into the house, take a nice hot shower, put on my PJ's and sit my happy ass down on the couch with the DVR remote, a nice bottle of wine, some food and let the vegging out start.

This will repeat for two days. Saturday and Sunday. I will make sure that I get my to do list finished, which includes, changing the litter box, finishing the laundry and tidying up the house and I will fit in my daily workout, make sure that the dog gets plenty of paws on the ground outside time but other than that, NO PLANS.

And I am happy about that. I have a lot of shows recorded and a bunch of books that can be read.

Happy NOTHING weekend. I rarely get them and I am going to take advantage of it.

T.G.I.F.

***If I change my mind, I have a list of places I have been invited.*** I'm not a complete loser.

12 days until The Husband comes home. Sheesh, he's been gone for a month and a half.

Out of Control

My niece is not just a bad kid, she is out of control.

My Mom would love to put her in a reform type program but have any of you ever checked into those kinds of places?

Anywhere from $2,500+ A MONTH. In whose world do most of the families that have the bad ass kids like my niece have that kind of money?

The state is so "afraid" of putting her in the system (sending her to juvenile) that they make empty threats and she knows it.

Yesterday, by direction of child services and the local law enforcement, my brother reported her as a runaway because she has been gone since THURSDAY NIGHT. SHE IS 14. YES 14.

She doesn't go to school, when she does, she fights and gets suspended. She thinks that she is a grown up. She smokes, drinks, does drugs and I'm 99% sure is having sex.

Let me add that she is a pathological liar and according to the State Shrink is bi-polar and has ADHD.

My brother is a worthless piece of crap and their Mother is just as bad as him. My Mom tried to do what she could when the opportunity came for her to step in, but by that time, the damage was done. She has done everything she knows to do and has gotten NO WHERE.

My niece hangs out in the projects. The neighborhood is so bad, that the cops told my Mother that even if she did call for a ride home to NOT go into the neighborhood to get her, allow the police department to do so. She has already been given TWO trespassing tickets for being in another projects and is NOT allowed to be there.

When I talk to her, she is all Yes Ma'm, No Ma'm, I'm sorry, I promise I will be good, I promise I will be better etc etc. My Mom told me to not believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

I want to believe that she is fixable. That she needs stability and to see a life outside of drugs, crime and the crap that not only did I grow up in but she is now growing up in.

I'm almost 1,000 miles away. I want to drive down there and snatch her up and lock her in a room but I know that is not the answer. I'm sad and heartbroken that my only niece is becoming the kind of kid that I see on TV that makes me shudder and think "what happened to her." Or worse, one day I am going to get the phone call to identify the body.

Down In Flames

So, as the shirt says, the server is down. It seems it went down in flames last night. Corporate wide. Nice.

I can get to the internets, but I cannot send or receive e-mail, I cannot print and I cannot get to anything network related.

And the IT guys said "don't surf the net." What else am I supposed to do?

Hmmm...I tried to file, I can't do that because I need to print off my checklists to do so. I tried to send out orders, can't do that, the printer is also the fax machine. Oh the list goes on and on.

Is it lunch time yet?

You MUST Eat There

There is a restaurant in Clarendon, Virginia by the name of Restaurant 3. Let me just tell you a little something, this is rapidly becoming my all time favorite restaurant. The food is AMAZING and the atmosphere is relaxed and classy.

For some time, Restaurant 3 was my third favorite restaurant behind #1 John Dominis in Honolulu, Hawaii and #2 Top of the World in Vegas.

Since I haven't eaten at John Dominis is about 9 years and I haven't eaten at Top of the World in almost two years, Restaurant 3 is gaining the lead. It's closer than a plane ride away and the food makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

SO...if you are visiting the DC area or you live in the DC area, or if you are just rich and can fly anywhere you want for dinner, please go to Restaurant 3. Tell Ria (the manager)that a friend of Betsy's sent you.

Man I'm hungry.

Holy Ships! I WON

So last night was week 2 of 8 of THE Bar's local Rockstar Wannabe contest. It's a karaoke contest.

I had been out with my friends because TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES. Anyway, I digress. When I got to THE Bar they needed one more person to sign up for the contest. My good friend Jacko signed me up (sneaky little wench).

Honestly, I really didn't care about the contest and even chose a song that I haven't sang in forever. I just wanted to sing because waiting for your chance to sing at THE Bar is painful.

As soon as the song started I wanted it to be over. I couldn't find my pitch and with every note I sang I just wanted the disc to break. When I think I'm doing bad on a song, I get stage fright. YEP, my knees start shaking and I giggle. I actually giggled during the song. HOLY NIGHTMARE.

I got off of the stage embarrassed because well, I KNOW EVERYONE there and they know that song SUCKED.

I was singer 8 of 8. Not exactly the best note to end with.

Voting started and it's all about crown applause. I actually hid behind someone while the voting happened, hoping that people wouldn't cheer for me as I did not think I should win.

So what happens? I WON. You have got to be kidding me.

Now, I'm a singer and I believe in giving someone their props when props are due, but last night was NOT one of those nights for me.

Now, I have to wait 6 more weeks until the final round where all 8 of us will compete against each other for $500.00 cash and a song with the band (one of my favorite local bands).

I have to win now. Must find a song that will rock the house. I want to win on my voice and my ability. Not on my friends being the loudest drunk people in the room.

BUT, you can best damn believe that everyone I know will be there the night of the finals. Bring it.

Whatever Whores

As I sit at work, buried in IPR slides, Procurement, Contracts and all things Financial, my two friends are text messaging me from the bar where they have been since 6 am drinking for the local kegs and eggs. At THE BAR that I work at part time.

I keep telling myself that I should just leave work. Pack up the laptop and blackberry and take it to the bar and log on to the VPN and work with drink in hand. Seems like good initiative but bad judgement.

Oh look, another text. "Yum, green beer."

Whatever Whores.

Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh

For the love of God and everything Holy, please, make the whooshing sound in my right ear go away.

It has been ONE WHOLE WEEK since it started. I went to the ENT today and he told me that there isn't any fluid build up or infection. YIPPEEE...but that he wants me to have an audiogram before he proceeds with any treatments.

My appointment isn't until next THURSDAY. I may gouge my ear out by then.

Get this. Being overtired makes it worse.

UMMMM...hello. Have you ever tried to fall asleep while hearing nothing but your heartbeat in your ear. Not the bump bump kind either. The WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH kind.

Kill me now.

This One Time

Most people follow that statement with "at Band Camp." Yeah, well, have you ever been to band camp? NO? Well I have. And it wasn't all that fun. Think about the movie drumline. Yeah, it was about like that. 8-5, Monday-Friday for two weeks during the summer IN FLORIDA.

And there definitely weren't any instruments being inserted into anyones girly bits. Not that I am aware of anyway.

I've also been to boot camp. NEVER to be confused with band camp. However, some of those senior classmen might have watched Full Metal Jacket one too many times.

Boot camp...well., what can I say. Not as scary as I expected but it still sucked. It's no wonder Marines have that attitude. Boot camp is no joke. You defintely work your ass off to be able earn that title.

Anyway. The post really is about some injuries. And since band camp and boot camp helped to start them off I thought I would lay a little grounwork for my story.

Band camp circa 1989. I was running from the stadium to the band hall in the torrential downpour rain of Florida when I slipped and fell. NICE surfer style body flop on the ground. Right knee, busted all open, muscle torn. Great job. Let's not forget the muscle I tore in my tricep. When I get hurt, I do it good.

Many, many years later, all rehabed up and no problems, I decide to join the Marine Corps. WTF? Yeah...that's about what my Mom said. Even though I was 22.

One fine Marine Corps day as I was repelling, I landed pretty hard after jumping down and there went the knee. Nice little tear this time. GO ME. Just the week before that, I reinjured my arm doing line training.

Here is am quite a few years after that and thanks to, one or two ATV accidents, my knee and my arm and I have spent lots of quality time in Physical Therapy.

It has been about 4 years since I've had any problems. Now both hurt like it is their job to do so. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so when I go see the Dr., they are NOT happy with me to say the least.

Let's go ahead and add that I have an inner ear infection, LOW blood pressure and I am borderline anemic.

What in the hell? *said in my best southern girl accent*

I am 10 days away from my *GASP* 35th birthday. I am too young to fall apart.

Pity party, table of one.

Oh the joys of life.

Boo To Monday

Ughhhhh...yesterday started the Skinny Mel diet/workout plan.

Today, my legs hurt so bad that I can barely walk. Come on body, all I did was 900 steps on the step counter and run 1/2 of a mile. Oh and those jack knives and extenders.

To top of the painful day, while I was walking my beloved dog this morning, the neighbor was walking up as I was walking out. Our dogs love each other and their excitement is hard to control. Picture me, all 5' 3 3/4" and 135 lbs of me in heels and a dress, trying to pull my 78 pound dog.

I almost slipped oh the patio and I tore my pointer finger nail off. I'm not one of those "oh, I broke my nail girls". I didn't break this one, I RIPPED THE EFFING THING OFF.

Now when I say ripped it off, let me just tell you, there was blood and skin and all together finger trauma. I have some pretty long nails and I spend damn good money on having them covered in special stuff and painted to look all cute. Now, all I have in a stub. Less than a stub. It's broken down to the middle of the nailbed.

Holy pain Batman. And do you know how hard it is to type when pointer is traumatized?

Thank You Wiki How

Just when the impending doom was about to hit me, and my biggest fear of being placed into a straitjacket were about to come true, you gave me this precious gem.

Straitjacket

I can now rest assured that I can still go crazy and be able to escape.

Hi, Have You Met Me?

I AM

Overwhelmed

I am a pretty organized person and a workaholic, but lately I feel like I am sinking and fast.

Granted, I work two jobs. One of which I am going to have to go ahead and bite the bullet and say "I just can't do this anymore." The not getting home until 1am on Monday nights is killing me. Playing pool on Tuesdays and not getting home until 12am is just adding gas to the fire.

This week I am working Monday, Wednesday and Friday night. The money is nice but my sanity is suffering.

My house looks like 5 teenagers live there. And I am a clean freak. Often times I will get home at 1am and clean for an hour because I cannot go to bed and think about waking up to the mess.

I have three titles at work (my real job as I so kindly refer to it as) and somedays I spend ALL DAY doing one portion of it and the other stuff suffers. On nights I am not working or spending my one night a week playing pool, you can find me in front of my laptop doing work or answering e-mails on my crackberry.

I need a maid, a dog walker and a cook.

And people wonder why I drink.

Manic Monday #2 (MM2)

Since I really shouldn't even be on here writing a post because I am beyond busy. I think that I am going to stick to the picture thing like I did last Monday. Maybe it will become a theme. Although, searching for the pictures that match my mood takes longer than it does to write stuff out. Ah, whatever.

It's 12:53 and I haven't eaten:









Please keep in mind that yesterday was Superbowl Sunday and:






My head hurts and I am so tired:









I would love to be able to hang one of these on my front door at my house and have it work:









Must get back to work!

Hell I Tell You

***Religious Post to Follow***

According to the
religious tract like this one, I am going to hell. Unless I repent NOW and never sin again.

Some guy gave me one of those tracts last night. Ummm...I was working my one day a week at "the bar" and he handed it to me. I thought it was a joke because it's a million dollar bill. It wasn't until after he left, that I looked at it.

I read around the back of the bill, turning and turning so that I could keep up with all of the crap it way saying.

Basically, it said "...if you have ever told a lie, lusted after a woman/man or have used the Lords name in vain, God see's you as a blasphemous, lying, thieiving adulterer at heart and you are going straight to hell."

So, like any good little girl that was raised in church all of her life by a Mother who has her own ministers license, I laughed out loud and exclaimed, "I am going straight to hell."

Seriously. Do people really think that threatening people into religion is the way to go? Made me want to sit the man down and have a nice chat with him about how he just ate dinner in a place that can be seen as a Den of Inquity, or that the huge steak with baked potato and sour cream with salad and an appetizer and three glasses of sweet tea can be viewed as

Gluttonous to some. But I'm sure that he forgot that those are things that are seen as sins as well.

Oh I could go on and on. I'm sure that I would seriously hurt his feelings if he started trying to spew scripture, as most people that come from a church like this: Living Waters mostly only know scriptures about how I am going to hell and God hates sinner and unbelievers.

I like to start off a religious discussion with....well, who am I kidding? I am not one for the discussion of religion, as my Husband and I are pretty well studied and grew up pretty indoctrinated. Often times it only takes us a few minutes to shoot down a freaks arguments and confuse them into a mumbling fool.

So because I believe in forgiveness, here are a few scriptures that you might want to start off with. Or place on your tract for next time, because the God that I know and love is all seeing, all knowing and all forgiving.

Psalm 51:2
"Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!"

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Matthew 6:14
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Ephesians 1:7
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace"

Colossians 1:13-14
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Anyway...try preaching or teaching love and understanding rather than basically yelling in someone's face, YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

I am in a handbasket though.

Manic Monday #1

Because I don't really have time to think of words to describe my day, I decided to spend my time searching for pictures.

I'm Just Sayin

As the saying goes: "there are those that do and then there are those that lie about it."

I'm just sayin, I'm not a liar.

In The Words Of

Gretchen Wilson

I don't feel like loving you today,
So don't you even try to change my mind,
The best thing you can do right now,
Is just go away,
Cause I don't feel like loving you today,

I don't wanna talk about last night,
I'm angry and I haven't had much sleep,
And I'm so tired and bloodshot,
they ain't no tellin' what I'd say,
I don't feel like loving you today,

But you know I will anyway,
Even though we make it hard sometimes.
I'll wind up forgiving you and probably loving you,
For the rest of my life,
But I don't feel like loving you today,
And I've got 16 hours left to go.
I might tell you that I'm leaving
Even though you know I'll stay,
Cause I don't feel like loving you today.

But you know I will anyway,
Even though we make it hard sometimes.
I'll wind up forgiving you and probably loving you,
For the rest of my life.
But I don't feel like loving you today.

I just don't feel like loving you today.

They Burn

So my husbands best friend is in town. My husbands nickname for R is Player. Player is quite a whore. As his nickname suggests.

Anyway. Player was out with us tonight trying to explain to me why he is still messing with this 19 year old. So, in true player fashion, he showed me the picture texts that the baby sent him. Ick.

Because I'm a bitch like that, I proceeded to show the "fellas" the pictures. As I was flipping through, I clicked on a picture that I thought was one of the baby from far away.

OH NO. It was my husbands best friend in all his glory.

Oh my God. It's like seeing you're brother naked.

My eyes. They burn.

This Is Why She's My Friend 1.2

My girls are a bunch of funny bitches. We are quick witted and down right sarcastic. Sometimes mean as hell and quite hateful too. But sweet as pie when needed. Well, some of us.

Today, I will post about my friend Abs is a little angry. Well, a lot angry really. But she will shut you down in an instant with that glare or death and fast blow to your ego.

Today, she chose to suggest that I respond to a girl that is being quite idiotic in regards to some plates that she bought from me. She wants a $7.00 refund. Not a big deal really, but you see, 7 plates broke and I sold them to her for $.60 a piece and she wants me to pay her $1.00 per plate so that she can replace them at their regular cost. HELLO, I'm a financial person. In NO WAY does that work out in my favor.

Abs said I should write her this

"Crackhead,

Such a big deal for $7.00. $7.00 won’t buy a rock, so you may have to settle for a couple of 40s of Steele Reserve and call it a day."

In another e-mail, which has nothing to do with the "the crackhead, Abs wrote:

From: Abs
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 11:24 AM
To: Melrox
Cc: Freckles
Subject: how we are going to die...

The low is going to be 3 degrees tonight.
Right now it is 18 but feels like 3 thanks to the wind chill.

That is not a forecast. That is a death sentence.

Abs

I love my girls!

YAY ME! I Think

Okay, so someone sent me an e-mail. Their e-mail address was blog234@aol.com.

They gave me a blog award. As you can see, it looks like a drunk kid made it but it's kind of cool looking and since I LOVE getting awards, I figured I would go ahead and accept.

That's two awards so far this year. And I am not even on top of my game yet.

Now I have to figure out who I can pass this one along to. Oh the dilema.

I think I am going to pass it along to two people. One because I think she's pretty cool, and she gave me my first award and the other because he gets so excited when someone thinks he's cool.

No drumroll this time. Just and awards presentation.

In the category of "Smart Funny Girl" the award goes to Penny at She Is Anyway. *applause*. I found Penny on another site and when she moved her blog, I kind of find my way over here too. I'm glad I did. Thanks!

And in the category of "LA Guys That Don't Suck", the award goes to SO at Starting Over At 24. *more applause*. If you haven't had the chance to read SO's blog, please do so. He's funny as hell and pretty eloquent with words.

There you have it. This concludes this weeks awards ceremony. Party at SO's house afterwards.